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3 year old goes crazy at nursery pickup

13 replies

PieceOfSunshine · 12/12/2024 22:00

Long time lurker, first time poster. Looking for help as I’m at my wit’s end.

My DS is 3 and has been at the same nursery for over a year now, 3 days a week. Very clingy on drop off but happy enough. Always has a good day and has come on leaps and bounds.

The problem is when I go to pick him up. I see him through the window playing calmly but as soon as I go in the room and he sees me, it’s like a switch flips. He gives me a big hug then runs off and starts throwing things on the floor, jumping on tables and pulling at other kids’ clothes.

Then once we leave the room he runs off and I end up having to chase him all round the nursery before I can get his coat on and get out. By the time we leave I’m frustrated, sweating and feel like a failure of a mum as it seems I can’t control my child. I see other parents looking as if there is something wrong with him or like he is really naughty.

As soon as we start walking home he’s back to normal, calm, chatting, lovely and sweet.

Anyone else have this problem? Or tips on how to tame him to make pickup a bit calmer? Or are some kids just wild at this age and grow out of it?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
johnd2 · 12/12/2024 23:26

Yep this kind of thing is common, he's been holding it in all day and finally can let it all out when he sees his safe person.
It's good that he can get it all out within quarter of an hour or so, but it's probably just something you have to build in to your schedule, time to reconnect and get his emotions back on track.
My son is 5 now but he still needs a good few minutes on pickup to reconnect, even when he was less than 1 year old he had a meltdown on pickup every day, but if that's your child, it's your child, you don't want to damage your relationship just because of other people's opinions.

rommymummy · 12/12/2024 23:37

Could nursery get him ready for you?

At my nursery we wait outside and they bring the kids out with coats on ready to go.

PlantDoctor · 12/12/2024 23:39

He's excited to see you! Maybe put coat on when you get out the door?

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Batbatbatty · 13/12/2024 05:38

I wouldn't let mine go back into the room after hugging me, to cause havoc.....I'd keep him in the hug and immediately leave. What he does after that depends on how much time you have and whether he can actually go very far in the nursery.

beetr00 · 13/12/2024 05:43

Could you have his coat with you as you enter the room and put it on him as you hug?

Narkacist · 13/12/2024 06:27

It’s called restraint collapse, it’s normal.

SelfCareBear · 13/12/2024 06:43

Hold onto him when he comes to give you a hug. Don't give him the opportunity to run off and cause chaos!

Tatapie · 13/12/2024 08:12

Maybe he's happily playing and doesn't like being interrupted. This was the case with my son. Can nursery give him a 3 minute warning?

PieceOfSunshine · 13/12/2024 18:12

Thanks everyone, just your words of reassurance helped keep me calmer at pick-up today. He was still crazy but I managed to get him out with less drama and just went along for the ride. Bit of a snack and a cuddle before we left even while he was overexcited and shouting at least made me feel more connected to him!

OP posts:
sashh · 14/12/2024 07:42

Sorry OP but your description reminded me of a Labrador. I'm not calling your child a lab just the behaviour.

PieceOfSunshine · 14/12/2024 15:30

sashh · 14/12/2024 07:42

Sorry OP but your description reminded me of a Labrador. I'm not calling your child a lab just the behaviour.

He is very much like a Lab. Excitable and crazy but also loving and loves a cuddle! Nothing wrong with that!

OP posts:
sashh · 15/12/2024 08:49

PieceOfSunshine · 14/12/2024 15:30

He is very much like a Lab. Excitable and crazy but also loving and loves a cuddle! Nothing wrong with that!

He sounds fabulous.

bloodynaps · 15/12/2024 08:57

Mine used to do that and followed by a few tears on the way home.

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