Child activity clubs to find this unusual?

[Jabbabong]

Perhaps unusual is not the right word here because most of the parents are doing this. Our children do a few clubs outside of school. Swimming lessons, football, dance and such like.

I cannot comprehend why the majority of parents, rather than watching their child put their heart and soul into doing the activity, instead prefer to click away staring into their mobile phone for the 30 or 45 minutes that the activity lasts.

Does anybody understand this? Watching my little ones do activities whilst I have the freedom to purely relax, watch and observe how they progress are some of the highlights of my week. Why do so many parents prefer to look at their phone screens? I cannot believe for one moment that they are all attending to matters of high importance.

I understand where you’re coming from but often that time is when I realise I’ve forgotten to do several things that benefit my children’s lives - order something for school, arrange an activity, book something. I’m rushing back from work to collect them from school, feeding them, getting them to swimming, taking them home after, doing homework, getting them ready for bed etc so I don’t have lots of time to do all the things that need doing.
Also unfortunately our brains are no longer used to not being constantly entertained or kept busy so we automatically reach for screens.

Because it's a rare half hour they're not working or actively parenting?

Because many parents with young children are extremely busy.
They have 30 or 45 trapped mins when they are not at their paid job and not actively looking after their children, but we are now able to get things done on our phones.
If someone can get one job done when they aren't needed to interact with their child that frees up some time later when they can give the children their undivided attention.

You are being very judgemental of everyone not reaching your standard of parenting.

I don't mindlessly scroll but I have been known to reply to a quick email etc. I absolutely agree with you though. Children can tell and their faces show the joy of you watching and having pride in what they're doing versus seeing a parent barely look up.

Mine do gymnastics, there’s no space to watch them except squashing around the door to the hall, and the viewing window is very small so I go and sit in the cafe instead

My favourite ever example of this is when I was watching DC play in their children's orchestra. I happened to be standing front row watching an open air event when a rather large man came to stand right in front of me. He proceeded to take a video of his child performing. All very sweet but he wasn't even watching through his phone screen! He set the shot up and filmed it while looking the other way. He spent the rest of his time with his head in whatsapp.

Ballet? - not allowed to watch. Only twice a year.
I go for a walk/read a book/go shopping/drink tea with another mum/work on my pc. It's 1.5 hour.

Girls Guide? - I'm a leader (not for my daughter's group but the younger rainbow girls). I am soo busy. It's 2 hours.

Music class? - teacher expects me or dad to take part 100%. It's 45 minutes. She offers a cup of tea.

Choir - only allowed at performances. I drink tea, chat with other mums, read or work. It's an hour rehersal.

Swimming classes - no long attending but we couldn't watch so again busy with other stuff. It was an hour.

Wasn't a highlight of mine.

Watching middle sized children do front crawl up and down the pool for 45 minutes is straight up boring.

And watching netball matches in the freezing cold is just torture.

Because watching small children swim/jump/point toes is tedious. Drinking coffee and eating cake whilst doing the week's diary planning (as in coordinating work meetings, clubs, someone to pick dc up, filing in forms, reminders that Wednesday is mufti for a £1 etc) was a productive use of dead time.

Because small children are bloody hard work and often that half hour when they were in an activity would be my only down-time that week. Is that really so bad?
They're safe and entertained so I could focus on something else for a small amount of time when the rest of my time was consumed by their needs. I don't need to be present and engaged for every minute of the activity when there's a trained instructor there.

Now they are older I don't need to stay and watch training sessions, but I do give matches/competitions my full attention.

Exactly @Invisimamma

Because I have four children.

Because I run a business so it's a great time to catch up on work without it impacting my kids.

Because I deserve a break too.

Because sometimes I just want to sit and fuck about on my phone.

Because training sessions can be boring as fuck

Because that 30 minutes is time to do the online shop ,.order the 76 different school essentials. Message my friend so they know I am alive. And just maybe read a page on my kindle app.

I must be extra crap as well because sometimes for training I just drop them and go home to pick up later!

Always give my attention to matches though

They do it deliberately to give something for someone else to judge them on, call it a community service

I don't think it's very healthy for children to have a parent maniacally hyper focused on their every movement, personally. The class/hobby is theirs, they are with their peers socialising and developing skills under the tutelage of an adult who knows what they are doing. They won't disappear in a puff of smoke if you take your eyes off them for a few minutes.

I think you're being a bit judgemental here. Perhaps a little bit of introspection would be good. Perhaps you could consider that not everyone is living the same life as you are. You sound a little bit like you think your parenting is superior.

Mine are grown up now, but when they were younger I would quite often spend that kind of free time doing admin for the voluntary role I have - running a children's club (Brownies) so that other people's little darlings get to have even more lovely experiences. That sort of voluntary role involves a huge amount of time spent on admin - time I couldn't spare when I was actively looking after my children or working in my full-time paid job.

I'm often on my phone at things like this.
I'm working, not on fucking Instagram.

Judgey much?

Yes you are a better more dedicated parent than them because you love nothing better than to gaze adoringly at them while others want to catch a few minutes mental break while their kids are otherwise engaged

Heres a medal for being so much better than them 🥇

In case you can’t tell I’m a parent who not only doesn’t spend the whole session transfixed by the little darlings attempts at gymnastics… I’m fact I’m such a negligent parent I straight up bring my laptop on get on with my uni work

As a lone parent with no family who spends literally every other minute watching them while also clearing up after them and feeding them it’s one of the few chances I get to work when it doesn’t mean distracting them with telly or working into the night to get my coursework done… fortunately for your kids they don’t have to live with that level of parental apathy at least

Selfishly though I’m glad that when my kids grow and move out I will still be a whole person with interests and activities to keep me busy because I don’t exist solely as vessel to facilitate my kids lives

I remember parents sometimes reading a book when I was playing sports, no difference to phones. I can’t remember anyone ever being bothered about this.

How about you concentrate on your child’s performance and stop watching other parents getting on with their lives? You’d free up a lot of headspace getting rid of all the judgement.

Well frankly, you judge me but I judge you. I think the parents who are so.focussd on their children they are obsessively watching every training session are a bit odd. It's not necessary or healthy to be so obsessed. I watch my children's Matches and performances, sometimes I watch the start or end of a training session, but then I go and get on with other things, whether that's work, admin or just enjoying a few minutes of peace.

My DC is older now so goes independently to activities but a lot of what she did they didn't have anywhere for parents to view or actively discouraged it as it was disruptive.

When DC was at gymnastics I had time to go for a run, shower and be back to get them. I remember writing my Christmas cards while they were swimming. I did things I needed to do or things for me and I think that is also important.

I was always there watching attentively when they put on shows or we took them to competitions. I think it's also important for their independence to be able to do something without a parent always in the background.

And it would be absolutely fine if you were on Instagram as well. You bloody deserve a few mins break if you're a working mum who has to ferry kids around to clubs!

and

Well frankly, you judge me but I judge you. I think the parents who are so.focussd on their children they are obsessively watching every training session are a bit odd. It's not necessary or healthy to be so obsessed. I watch my children's Matches and performances,

I agree completely with both of these.

It's quite unhealthy not to give your dc some space.