Apparently.
I'm a lone parent to a 10 year old child with suspected ADHD and ASD. He is a very loving, caring, bright and hard working child who socialises well but ends up overwhelmed and tends to have a meltdown after the event is over.
He is generally well behaved but has his moments like all children do. In social situations when he is overwhelmed he struggles to be still, especially if there's a long wait for something due to a delay like food in a restaurant or something taking longer than planned so that the thing he's looking forward to can't happen at the time he expected it. When he's like this he finds it difficult to focus and can be a little annoying and not stop doing something. For instance if he's taught a game to play at the table to pass the time he will want to continue once the adults have had enough of the game and struggles to stop spinning a toy or building things out of a few beer mats. He is told no firmly and I always explain to him why he needs to stop and that he needs to consider others. There are consequences in place that are stuck to. He isn't climbing on chairs, or getting up and walking or running off or disturbing other diners. He is quite a quiet child so he's not yelling or laughing loudly or doing anything that attracts any attention.
I have to watch his diet because colourings make him worse along with certain foods. People don't understand that and think I'm being too strict but then criticise his behaviour.
We had a couple of days with a couple that are not at the stage of having children in their lives or might never do. I have t asked because it's none of my business. I was told by the man that he struggles with ds's behaviour and to understand him because he's disobedient. His wife is more nurturing and has really taken to ds but I could see that age was uncomfortable because her husband was so obviously annoyed.
I've raised my son as a lone parent and he has no father in his life and any criticism hurts. I do my best. I've done parenting courses to help with strategies due to his anxiety. There's a little input from the SENDCO but it's taken me years to get them to take me seriously because he's no trouble at school and is achieving well.
I'm not someone who can brush off criticism and I've really taken it to heart. This couple were our guests and I hadn't invited them, they invited themselves, but I felt like he especially silly couldn't wait to leave. He was a very obedient child who was good as gold and always did as he was told even if he didn't want to. His parents might have a different perspective.
I think I just needed a rant because what should have been a great weekend has been soured by his comments just before they left. His wife wasn't in the room at the time and thankfully he didn't say anything in front of ds. I feel as though ds can't be himself and felt scrutinised and judged the whole time. They have invited us to stay with them next year and there's no chance I'm subjecting myself or ds to that.
I recall thinking before how I had children that mine would be perfectly behaved 🤣 and that my sister was doing some things wrong but I didn't say anything and as someone much younger than her I had no idea about parenting and know now what an idiot I was and living in cloud cuckoo land.
Has anyone experienced this who can relate and perhaps offer some advice?