2.5 month old ONLY naps comfort sucking - HELP ME

[Peanutbutterislife]

I know 2.5 months old is young but I cannot cope with this.

My little boy is super clingy, he won’t settle for anyone but me because he has to be sucking away while falling asleep then wakes up when he falls off. He also only sleeps in the carrier so my back is destroyed.

Tried so many dummies and bottles with no luck. Husband simply cannot help it is all on me.

Mentally struggling so badly right now, feel suffocated and cannot live like this anymore. I have a toddler too who I’ve completely had to put second place as a result which is awful.

i don’t want my baby to suffer or cry BUT HOW do I change this situation??????

Any help gratefully received x

Hi OP,

I was you! It’s hard. My daughter did this for nearly a year (I did get used to it!) They feel most comforted against your skin/hearing your heart beat/your smell is familiar… but it doesn’t mean it’s not really hard and frustrating for you.

Do you have a bed side crib (one with an open side next to your bed like the Tutti Bambini Cozee cot)?

Have you tried feeding him on your side (so not laying on your chest but him laying beside you feeding in your bed until he falls asleep - google images will show you what i mean)
Then when he falls asleep you can gently shuffle him into his side-of-bed cot and you’re free! It might take a few goes but it will help.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job and he’s not clingy, it’s very normal - like a primal/survival instinct to be close to parents.

Just seen about the carrier - try getting him to a sleepy state in that then lay down in your bed side by side feeding til he’s comforted enough to drift off… then you can shuffle him sideways in to the bedside crib once asleep. Again - may take a few goes!

Your older child also needs you and is deserving of your time and care. Hand over to dad and go out with toddler. If baby smells/hears you, it’s worse. He will cry, but that is normal and one day he won’t.

How is he getting on with his centiles? Is he following his curves? Bright and alert at times?

I would give him a big feed this morning, swap breasts as many times as it takes, use breast compressions to keep him interested and feeding then change him and get DH to take him out for an hour at least in the carrier or pushchair.

You can either get DH to take DC1 as well so that you can have a break or you could have some time with them.

You might find the book The No Cry Nap Solution helpful too

My 4.5 month old is the same.
She will take a bottle when given but won't sleep after a bottle needs boob to fall asleep.
I make sure she's full burped changed etc then let her comfort nurse. I lay down in bed with her (bed set up to be safe) and I lay on my side letting her nurse. When she's asleep I gently unlatch her wait a few minutes and then slowly move away. Sometimes it takes a few tries of the unlatching and moving away as she may wake but I've kind of gotten the hang of it now.
I have to make sure she's fed properly first as she had a habit of only taking tiny feeds then falling asleep on boob waking for more falling asleep waking for more etc so I make sure she's fed on both sides and burped first before I let her comfort nurse to sleep

Thank you so much everyone.

re the side lying for naps I haven’t tried this, will give it a go for sure and see if that settles him without the sling.

Just wondering though for longer term, how do you break the sucking to sleep association? I’m just desperate to stop it before it’s too much of a habit (well, it already is but he’s only 10w so hoping I can break it).

I tried letting my husband settle him yesterday after he’d had full feeds and he screamed as if in complete danger for 15 mins - awful.

@TinyMouseTheatre hes jumped from 50th to 80th percentile I think because of all this comfort feeding to sleep!!!

Sending so much sympathy. I had this too. We moved to sleeping on a double mattress on the floor together. He stayed night weaned at 4, and co slept until he was 7 years old.

For daytime naps as a baby, he slept on my lap and I read about eleventy million library books. The worst day was one day when he fell asleep suddenly for a two hour nap and I realised the only books in reach were "shark in the park" and "the enormous turnip". That was a long two hours.

Sorry, I never really worked it out tbh. He's still a super nervous sleeper as a teen.

The no cry sleep solution book has a list of the times that babies nap at different ages and I found that very useful.

This guy is worth investigating s

I also realised, a bit too late, that I was quite lively company and very engaged by DS and I think that kept him awake and alert a bit because I was very alert. DH is much better at being boring, and is very calm. He gets DS to sleep better than I do because DH can make himself super boring.

Just wondering though for longer term, how do you break the sucking to sleep association? I’m just desperate to stop it before it’s too much of a habit (well, it already is but he’s only 10w so hoping I can break it).

I wouldn't worry about it at 10 weeks. Sometimes babies just stop it by themselves anyway.

The No Cry Sleep Solution mentioned hy another Poster suggests several ways of building up good sleep associations do that they do learn eventually.

It's hard at the moment but it will get easier. It also sounds as though he's been "catching up" on his centiles and will probably slow down and find his natural curve soon.

Fir now though try those breast compressions and try feeding lying down