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Am I overthinking this!

5 replies

ByAquaUser · 05/12/2024 12:20

this has bugged me for a few weeks and the more I overthink it the more confused I become, I’m a mum of 5 and have never come across a situation like this but I’m struggling to work out how to move on from it. I have a very good friend I’ve been close to for the last 4 years, we’re actually neighbours & see eachother and speak daily, we do school runs together every day & have always been able to communicate no problem. My 5 yo had a virus a few weeks ago, a week passed and everything was fine so I took him to school. Going about my usual route I walk to school but see my friend and her sister walking the same way. Her sister has a 7 month old child & we’ve always chatted and got on great, my 5 year old always gets excited to see them and as he always has ran over to say hello to my friends sister and baby. This time however he was met with a very different reaction to the usual hug and chat. He was shouted at, get away from my baby now, you’ve been sick, go stand with your mother while flapping her hands and very quickly walking away my friend turns around and says sorry we will have to walk ahead of you friends sisters child has bad conjunctivitis and can’t afford to get more sick. My 5 year old was confused and actually really upset by the reaction. Since then there’s a lot of tension with the sister whenever I’ve seen her, it’s very awkward. When the situation happened I immediately text me friend and said I was sorry her sister felt that way and the message was ignored. The problem I have with this situation is my friends sister knew my son had been sick a week prior and knew we did the same route everyday for the school run. I understand she may like to take her child on a walk but why on the school run the exact same way I’ve always gone when her child isn’t in school, but also when she knew my child had been unwell a week prior and 100% would of known my child would get excited to see them and go say hello. He’d been okay for a few days and I didn’t even consider she’d be so up in arms over my child saying hello like he does every single time he sees her . Am I in the wrong for being slightly confused and annoyed by the reaction and way things were handled or should I be apologising for the way things went?
thanks for reading x

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
goandhohoho · 05/12/2024 12:24

That’s really rude. I wouldn’t have text an apology; neither of you did anything wrong.

The problem is that there is a huge cultural celebration of unhealthy and counterproductive worry in mothers and so behaviour like this is not only frowned upon it is actually encouraged.

ByAquaUser · 05/12/2024 12:35

this is why I apologised that her sister had felt that way rather than apologising for my son being his usual self and being excited to see them. The way her sister felt I feel wasn’t down to me nor my child.
at the moment my friendship seems a little strained & im honestly taken back by it. My friend knew my son had a virus and was still giving him hugs and holding his hand in the days before her sister acted like this 🙈 I understand wanting to protect your child from illnesses but in that case would you not keep the child who’s already unwell away from doing a school run you have no reason to be doing anyway?
I really want to bring the situation up to my friend and let her know her sister had no business making my child cry like she did but I also don’t want to lose a close friendship over something so ridiculous. X

OP posts:
merryhouse · 05/12/2024 15:47

Just leave it.

Yes, she over-reacted: she's worried about her baby's health.

You were unnecessarily passive-aggressive with your text. You didn't need to send one at all, and your neighbour was probably a bit pissed off by it.

Move on.

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RabbitsEatPancakes · 05/12/2024 15:51

She's sounds ridiculous and very over anxious. I'd have messaged friend asking if her sister was struggling with motherhood, maybe recommend a therapist!

ByAquaUser · 05/12/2024 16:28

merryhouse · 05/12/2024 15:47

Just leave it.

Yes, she over-reacted: she's worried about her baby's health.

You were unnecessarily passive-aggressive with your text. You didn't need to send one at all, and your neighbour was probably a bit pissed off by it.

Move on.

I have left it and have been met with awkwardness in return, she still does the exact same walk almost daily. It’s just really uncomfortable & I don’t want to lose my friend over it. I never meant to be passive aggressive, It happened so quickly I didn’t have a chance to tell him not too. I have tried to act like it didn’t happen but it’s not worked. It’s awkward and I’m not sure how to approach the subject because it’s not been brought up at all.

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