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Parenting

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Should I move back to my hometown with my son after a marriage breakdown?

1 reply

HappyCat99 · 03/12/2024 09:52

I am a mum of a 2 year old, living in a two bedroom flat in London. I love my home and where I live. I have a good job in education and could support myself and my son if it ended up just being the two of us.
My husband of 7 years is flakey. This is the third time he’s had a crisis style melt down of ‘I’m not sure I love you - bla bla bla’. There is a good chance that this time we will split and go our separate ways. I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering when he’s going to have his next crisis and I have to wait around until he decides if he wants to be with me or not.
As previously stated, I can afford to continue to live in London with my son in the flat if my husband was to move out. However, my family live up North. I am close to my parents and sister and have friends there too. They would become my support system as a newly single mum. I would also be able to afford a larger house with a garden and more space if I were to return to my home town. The problem is, is that although I would be able to get a job to support us, I wouldn’t be able to get the job I have worked really hard to get over the last 5 years. I would have to take a lot of steps back with no opportunity to get back to where I am now.
There’s also my son’s dad to consider. He absolutely adores our son and although he’s not around during the week due to work, I want them both to continue to have a good relationship. When I say up North, it’s very up north.
Has anyone been in a similar position, leaving a big city to return to their support network but in the process leaving their child’s dad behind and their job?

OP posts:
GreenPaint1 · 04/12/2024 05:12

Not very helpful advice, but you deserve better and to trust you're in a relationship with someone who loves you.
All your reasons I'd say move. Only thing is career if you want to continue at the high level. I suppose in some ways you could consider going back and restarting in 16 years time given retirement age is nearing 70 but this is also bat shit thinking.
If it were me I'd start to be looking at selling your flat/other jobs in your area, I'd apply. Once your son is 3 you'll be applying for a primary place so you don't have that long to get ducks in a row really.
Hope you come to a decision best for you, soon.

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