Self care/Independence 7 year old

[Kayc93]

Hi,
Just wondering if my expectations are to high. I have a 7 year old who comes home from
School with food all over her face and clothes. messy hair looking like she's been dragged through an hedge and literally forgets all of her things. And quite often shoes on wrong feet 😆I have asked the teachers to remind her but quite often they don't I understand as they are busy etc.
We try to remind her everyday and say she gets a reward at the end of the week if she does such things.Daughter usually says I've forgot most days. we are also trying to promote independence and a bit of self care but feels like it's just not going to happen. Sure when I was in school we would have got told of for walking around looking scruffy!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
what age is reasonable to expect kids to do these sort of things ? My oldest child so I don't have anything to compare to but see other children coming out of the class looking not so messy!.

probably looks like I neglect my child to parents at school pick up 🤣

My DD is 7 and she doesn't get too scruffy - but when my eldest DD was that age she would come out with her school shirt covered in baked bean sauce etc - so I think it does depend on the child. I reckon age 7 is a big turning point where these things start to click into place so I'd see what happens over the course of the year and if she's still a shambles when she's 8 then have a further think about how you can help...

Thank you, how did you work on this with your daughter 😅

Well her hair is a you thing really, cut it into a style that doesn't get too messy or plait it. Send her with packed lunch with no messy things if it's an issue for you.

Most children probably don't check their face during the day - how are you expecting her to clean it if she's school dinner? DD was packed lunch so had a damp flannel in her lunch box for wiping hands and face if she wanted to but that's because she doesn't like being sticky. If your DD is having school dinners then she may (hopefully) wash her hands before eating but probably won't go back to the toilet afterwards and you are assuming are paper towels or similar in there which there may not be.

Messy hair is totally normal especially if they’ve been changing in a rush and pulling things over their head! I think it just depends on the particular hair type and what style it’s been put in that day as to how messy it gets! I would have thought they’d know which shoe is which long before this age though, and if they are rushing (swimming changes can be especially rushed!) know to correct it because they feel funny. Food is a mixed bag. I usually expect to wash the jumper when it’s ice cream on the menu for pudding…

We give her wet wipes in her bag and ask her to go and wipe/ check her face after dinner. School dinners are much worse she usually comes home plastered in tomato sauce🤣🤣 such a messy eater . I plait or tie her hair up tight and it usually comes home looking like she's been dragged though a hedge. 😓😞

My daughter was the same at that age, she takes a little bit more pride in her appearance now (9) but still has days where she comes out of school looking disheveled lol i think its just something they grow out of especially girls as they hit the age where they want to straighten/curl their hair or do make up, my eldest (14) won’t leave the house in the morning without spending 15 mins sorting her hair lol xx

That's nice to hear 🙂 it's hard with your first as you have nothing to compare too x