helping koala baby self soothe

[Marzipan23]

I have a lovely little 4 month old koala/velcro baby. He will sleep on his own happily from about 9pm to 6am (he sleeps all night, expecting this to change with regression soon but we have been very lucky in this respect!) but he will only contact nap on me or my husband, no cot nap, no pram naps, no car naps! I dont mind this, I know he wont be this small forever but I think he needs to start napping alone to improve the quality of his naps as I often wake him repositioning myself or coughing etc.

We have tried setting him down asleep in his cot and he immediately wakes up, we've tried drowsy but awake, we've tried putting him down sleepy and picking him up everytime he cries but I dont think this method is for him, he gets too worked up.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I think hes ready as he is showing signs of self soothing such as rocking his head side to side and sucking his hands. I dont want to try cry it out, I know some people swear by it but its not for me!

Sadly I’ve never heard of a method that really worked that wasn’t tolerating a bit of crying - I agree 4 months is young for that. It may be worth experimenting with at some point because ‘cry it out’ sounds brutal whereas if he is self soothing and doesn’t fall asleep on the boob or anything then it may actually be ‘cried for 2 mins’. Some people suggest doing whatever it is you do to get him to sleep less and less (so rocking til nearly asleep then stopping), but if he’s just lying on you and dropping off I don’t know how you’d do that. Or create another sleep association alongside contact - white noise, or a particular soft music, and one day he might just do it. But at 4 months tbh I’d just go with it and keep trying the pram naps - my LO didn’t sleep in the pram until about 5.5 months, and didn’t nap in the cot until well over a year… just to manage your expectations 😉

It is way too early for sleep training like pick up put down etc and this level of self soothing isn't developmentally appropriate either. It is very rare that your baby will sleep through the way he does atm..let alone nap independently as well! That would be miraculous.

I think you need to adjust your expectations and not stress about baby getting all this sleep stuff down right away and definitely don’t overly stress about him getting the perfect quality sleep every time (sounds like he gets that in the night anyway).
if you don’t mind contact napping you could try a sling if you haven’t already? They can love to be cosy in there and then you have your hands free. My babies loved sleeping in one and would always seem to sleep more deeply wrapped up.

I've seen that some people practice first nap of the day in the cot? So maybe you could put your effort there and not jump to trying to change all of the naps? I’ve used a ‘rockit machine’ on the pram/ next to me and its helped a fair bit.

but having now had 2 babies and them both be such different sleepers when I have done the same things with them, I now think that a lot of it is just who they are at any given stage. So by all means trial and error etc but mostly just time. He will get there.

So disappointed this wasn't about an actual koala 😭

My daughter was like this at 4 months. At 4.5 months she started sleeping in her pram occasionally and by 5 months we did a 2+h walking nap every day and some times a shorter nap in the morning and/or evening.
Keep trying to move them or different methods of sleep - once a week or so.
I didn't have a car so had to walk everywhere. For the first 4 months she cried through every walk. I upped the cosiness on a cold day and that was it she started sleeping in her pram. By 6-7 months it was the most reliable way to get her to have a good nap that lasted until she dropped her nap at 3.

i thought you meant a real koala! which are actually quite viscous and not at all cuddly

Me too! I was here for the pictures!

I agree you have amazing overnight sleep.

Have you tried a sling?
For how long have you tried pram naps, cot naps, sling naps? I think most people don't try for long enough. Make sure baby is warm enough.

thanks for the responses and sorry for all the koala dissapointment, he isn't as vicious as a koala but definitely clings like one! 😂

He sleeps in the carrier pretty well, i'm happy with however he naps so long as he is and I am very lucky with his night sleep, I've just noticed as hes getting bigger he seems to be struggling to stay asleep with contact naps and I disturb him a lot, then he gets upset and its hard to resettle. My health visitor recommended we try the self settling routine as he is showing signs of self settling and 4 months is a good time to start trying, obviously I know a bit of protesting and crying is to be expected but he gets absolutely besides himself, i'm still going to persevere with his morning nap (though no luck so far!)

It sounds like his sleep could change on its own anyway from what you are all saying which is reassuring because I felt like I was failing him by maybe not trying hard enough to get him to sleep on his own because I cant stand to see him upset!

@superscientist I'd love to know how you cracked pram naps and what you used to cosy up etc if you wouldnt mind sharing? we've just swapped him into his pushchair attachment (safe from birth) from the bassinet, he always hated his bassinet, hes too nosy!

We had a pram muff for the seat and we put that in the bassinet. Previously we had been using blankets but there was early snow and we had a baby sensory class to walk to. When she moved to the seat from the bassinet we used a pram suit with the pram muff. She's August born so she saved her sleeping in the pram for winter! For a few months I had to take my sling out with me as it was 50:50 whether she would sleep in the pram or the slingm