School nurse's advice

[NotABanana]

I told her my DD, who is 4 3/4 wasn't yet dry at night. (She had a few dry nights a while ago but not for a while now) I am using pyjama pants as the washable nappies in her size don't suit her frame so leaked.

The nurse said to not use the pants, put her in knickers if she wanted to wear something, increase her day time drinks and a double wee at bedtime. She needs to learn the consequences of a wet bed and this is how to get her dry.

I am willing to take advice as I am sure I did everything wrong with DS1 and also have another child so need to be better this time.

Any thoughts?

The HV told me to get on with getting son 41/4 out of night time nappies. His twin sister has been dry at night since 3. So... he wears no nappy til 10, I wake him (yes it's horrid, he's heavy, he scratches and scratches and hates it) for a wee, then put him to bed with a nappy on. He does like the blue star he gets for being dry til then. by the morning though there are a good couple of wees in the nappy. I hated the drynites nappies as the wee seemed to leak out up his back, so he's in normal nappies, and really I should go to pullups but i've found them v leaky too. A colleague told me a good tip - get 2 plastic sheets so plastic sheet, cotton sheet, plastic, cotton so in middle of night it's not such a faff if everything's wet you just take off the top sheet and plastic.

NotABanana i am a school nurse and i understand what your school nurse is trying to tell you.

To be honest you need to follow your instincts and try when you think your child is ready. A child wouldn't be referred for nightime wetting until they were 7yrs old because for some kids it doesn't 'click' until later.

What your school nurse is saying is when you do 'go for it' - do it without using pull ups because when kids wear pull ups/nappies for bed they subconsciously know it is ok to wee because they are protected.

Also the increasing daytime drinks can help with increasing bladder control and allows the child to experience what it feels like to hold a full bladder of wee. We are all guilty of asking kids before we go out if they need a wee etc - this can sometimes mean that they don't ever get a full bladder and exercise the muscles to hold it.
Lifting them is the same, they don't get chance to get the messages between the bladder and brain saying 'Wake up, you need to wee' going.

My advice would be there is no rush, go at your own pace and try when you feel the time is right. The 6wk summer hols is a good time because the weather is good for drying sheets and the kids aren't in school, so no rushing around having baths and showers in the morning if there is an accident.

Hope all that makes sense, it is easier to explain in person than to type

Clare, without wishing to bang on - do you not think that it's (a) confusing for your son and (b) too much like hard work to do that, when he's clearly nowhere near ready to be dry? Plus he hates it, you hate it ... and it's not getting you anywhere!

HVs are not oracles; they do not know everything. And in fact many of them speak complete and total bull. Yours should know that it is not considered a problem until the age of 7.

Just had another quick read through the thread and wanted to make it clear that if you are happy to keep using these pyjama pant thingies then do. Try again without in a few months time, there is nothing to be gained from upseting her and demotivating her if she isn't ready.

I agree with WigWamBam - do what you think is best, ignore the MIL and go with your instincts. Also the ERIC website she has linked is excellent.

Good Luck with it!

Clare, I agree with WWB - why are you doing something that you hate and ds hates? Because someone has told you that's the way things are done? In your shoes, I think I'd say 'stop'. And go back to PJ pants until he's actually ready. (My ds is 4 3/4 and not anywhere near dry at night - and I'm fine with waiting until his body is capable of suppressing night-time urination.)

When we did lift my son he didn't even do a wee so we upset him and disturbed his sleep for nothing.

DD is a lighter sleeper so she would probably wake up but I am not certain she would wee.

I would like her to drink more while at school but I can't make her. She has milk for breakfast and milk at school as well as water, and then at tea time she has milk and water. When she goes to bed she always says she is thirsty and we have stopped her having another drink then in the maybe wrong reason that it isn't helping her be dry. Thoughts??

Limiting her drinks will make things worse. The bladder becomes used to only needing to hold a small amount, and so shrinks to fit the smaller amount it's taking in. It therefore can't stretch to be able to hold the larger amount it needs to hold overnight. Limiting drinks can also contribute to urine infections.

Blackcurrant juice should be avoided before bedtime because it can irritate the bladder and make wetting worse, but anything else is fine.

Did you read the leaflets on the ERIC website? There's some information on there about this as well.

Hubby told me lat night that when DD asked for a drink and he said yes, she gave him a cuddle. Felt so bad for saying no in the pat but she so wants to be out of nappies, we thought we were halping her.

They only have milk and water in the day and water at bed time so that should be fine.

Haven't had a minute to read anything yet but hope too this weekend.