How do I drop the nap? Advice please!

[Giraffe145]

2 years 5 months old. Doesn’t fight nap or bedtime but is only sleeping 9 hours at night and seems constantly tired. Before anyone suggests that he’s overtired and to put him to bed earlier, we’ve tried that and then he fights bedtime, it results in an even shorter night and an early wake. I’m pretty sure he’s not got enough sleep pressure to sleep longer but bedtime is already quite late so can’t push bedtime back any more. But I don’t know how he could manage a no nap day due to being too tired from a short night.

Current routine is:
6am wake up
12.30-1.15/1.30 nap (either cap at 45 mins or 1 hour depending on how late he falls asleep)
8.30-9pm bedtime

He does sleep through most of the time.

Anyone have any advice? Should I cap his nap further, just a Power Nap? Or do I go cold turkey? But I’ve heard it’s normal to have a nap some days and not others at first?

I feel it would’ve been easier if he just started refusing to nap!

What's the problem?

He still needs the nap. Stope "capping" it, why are you doing that?

I'd let him be for a while and see how it goes.

I suspect she is capping it so he will go to bed at 8:30 pm. Yup with these short days I would definitely be looking to try to ush through. First thing I did was nove the nap from the cot to the buggy so they didn't go into such a deep sleep.

Not sure this will be helpful for you but sharing for thought. At that age DS fought nap and bedtime. I wanted to stop nap, DH was convinced he needed it developmentally. He would nap for 1.5-2 hours and go to bed 7.30-8 but chat for ages (often until 9pm). We pushed through for a few months and it improved. He carried on napping until he was nearly 4, but without the battles.

If you do feel you need to drop nap, I would try when you have lots going on to keep him going, but not when you will be driving home in the car at 5pm! Mine always had a short car nap if driving around 2pm, so you could maybe time round that for a few days?

@Neurodiversitydoctor Yes, you’re correct that I’m capping the nap to prevent bedtime getting ridiculously late. If he doesn’t fall asleep until 12.45pm and I let him sleep an hour, it would be gone 9pm before he’d go to bed.

The pram nap could be a good idea. By “push through” do mean keep going as we are for a bit or just go ahead and drop the nap?

I'm in the same boat OP it took 90 mins for my DD to fall asleep last night! But I haven't capped the nap yet, she had 2 hours yesterday. Going to try capping it today but she's sooo grumpy when woken so I'm dreading it!

I think he’s only not fighting his nap because he’s not sleeping enough at night. It’s like his body is like “in order to make sure I’m tired enough to nap, I’m gonna cut a bit of my night sleep”. And he’s only not fighting bedtime because I’m capping his nap haha. But ultimately he isn’t getting enough sleep overall, so is generally a bit tired and grumpy.

Yeah my DS is always really grumpy when I cap his nap too. He’s always bouncing off the walls in an hour or so though. It definitely helped him fall asleep quicker at bedtime though.

Watching as my 2 year old is up often til 9 but we've not cut the nap, that'll be the first step!

I meant push through with no nap. DS was also a monster when woken, that was part of the reason I stopped putting him to bed, that and by the time I got him up it was getting dark outside, I felt like I was on house arrest!. Do you have one a clock clubs where you are ? I found them a god send, tramping the streets/ parks is miserable at this time of year.

It's quite common to get some resistance at that age. It doesn't necessarily mean th nap is ready to go.

Give it a try. With my eldest we started by having 2 days a week that were calm days and we didn't do the nap. But on hectic days she still had one and a opted for maximum physical activity in the morning and early afternoon get the nap as early as possible. Initially she really struggled in the no nap days so I figured she wasn't really ready. Once she managed those days better I started really cutting it down on other days - mostly let her have one on the go e.g. in buggy or car seat and just for 40 minutes.

9pm is a bit of a pain, but it's not too bad really. My eldest has never done more than 10 hours overnight in her life unless she's ill.

Dropping the last nap is always rather a pain. Some days they need it, some they don't.

I think maybe you’re making a problem where there isn’t one. He’s getting enough sleep overall. If the nap is inconvenient, just don’t do it and try to keep him awake til bedtime. But what you describe sounds perfectly fine to me. I don’t think you need to change anything as it sounds like you’re both getting a good night’s sleep. When the nap goes, the days become quite a long slog, so I’d make the most of it now.

@mindutopia Yes we could keep going as we are for a bit but I’m only thinking we might need to change things up because he doesn’t seem happy with the current routine. He’s grouchy, behaviour is worse and he has red rings under his eyes. I can tell he’s not as well rested as he’d like. He’s tired, but not enough to sleep long enough. The nap is taking sleep from his night sleep/the sleep pressure is just in the wrong place currently.

@TinyTeachr that’s a good idea to try the no nap days on quiet days at first. Problem is, my quiet days with him are following nursery days so he’s sometimes more tired from being at nursery. Will maybe give it a go on a weekend though. Thanks.

My DS would only ever sleep 10 hours at night too so he’s only getting an hour less but it seems to be enough to make him grumpy!

The nap- is he just falling to sleep and then you are putting him to bed or are you putting him to bed and then hes falling to sleep? My kids had generally dropped their naps at about 18months, would every now n then fall asleep randomly in the day, was always jealous of mums that still got that small break in the day up till 3/4yo haha 😂 but i was lucky in that they would do 10-12hours in the night (with one or two wake ups), it seems my 11 month old is going the same way, she was awake for 8hrs yesterday before i forced a nap on her and then she slept for 40 mins and was awake for another 4.5 hours but she goes to bed at 7/8 and wakes 6/7 (wakes in the night 3/4 times at the moment though) xx