Can’t cope with constant crying

[Gettingoverits]

Baby is 11 weeks and cry’s all evening and quite a lot during the day. He was diagnosed with reflux but that’s under control with reflux formula and we have been regularly to the chiropractor for him. We have brought every gadget and tried every solution to help the crying at night but nothing works until he eventually falls asleep. My partner has an exercise hobby 2-3 times a week and has cancelled occasionally as he doesn’t want to leave me with a crying baby. I’m also due to go to the gym or have an hour 3 times a week to myself but don’t take it. This is because I suffer with fatigue condition and am so exhausted by the evening I can’t go out. I’ve tried staying in bed for an hour or too and relaxing but I can’t when I can hear crying from the room I end up helping my husband. He would take him out to give me a break but by the time he finishes work it’s too late and dark to go anywhere. I’m so worn out by the crying it’s making me resent being a mum at times. I have no family around except a sibling who does try and help but she works full time. I’m debating juts booking a baby sitter to watch him in the evenings while I sleep. Husband has said he won’t go out anymore and stay home but he really enjoys what he does and his job involves sitting down all day so the exercise is crucial to him keeping slightly fit. I dread the evenings all day and get funny when it’s time for him to leave. He’s amazing when home and really tried to take on most of the baby where possible. I’m so worn down by it all.

Are you sure he's not hungry??

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time OP. It's horrible seeing them cry on a normal day never mind non stop.

As PP said, do you think it could be hunger related?

I do think it is important that you get some time to yourself away from baby so you can get some sleep. Could OH take baby out on the car for an hour?

I have a 9 week old who screamed relentlessly for the first few weeks, we were fobbed off with colic and then told reflux until eventually he was diagnosed with cows milk protein allergy and given prescription milk.
Now he's like a different baby so perhaps look into it.
By the way he had very few symptoms just reflux and sick and crying like he was in constant pain so it was hard to diagnose but the new milk was like magic.
I feel your pain it is so so tiring.

I could have wrote this myself a few months back. I just wanted to say you're doing absolutely amazing, as is your partner by the sounds of it so just make sure you keep being that team to get yous through this! We were the same, tried every bottle, formula, teat, dairy free formula, gaviscon, dentanox, infacol, colief, prep machine, no prep machine cranial osteopath you name it. I plummeted into pnd and have since finally been diagnosed with ADHD so the sensory nightmare of a constant screaming baby is unbearable at times. The only thing that worked for us (just letting you know incase it's something you haven't considered) is liquid omeprazole, (not the stupid tablets you have to dissolve) carobel and the ready made bottles of formula. They have no idea why she can't take the powder formula as I've spoke to aptimil direct and they say there isn't any difference, I'm convinced it's how it's made and it is maybe gentler on the stomach? It's expensive but we're past caring at this point. Life saver for me was ear plugs / loops. Now that might come across as terrible, but the baby is screaming no matter what you do, if you're holding and comforting them and doing everything they need, it was the best thing to help me stay as calm and regulated as possible and to also not stress her out any more than she already is with her reflux if that makes sense? When your partner has the baby downstairs do the same, you know they're safe and if he needs you he can come and get you but it will help you get some mental rest at the very least. We also found that even though we didn't what to leave each other with a screaming baby alone, long term we needed that time to ourselves and it actually benefits everyone better in the long run. I always have a wee hour when my husband comes in from work, sometimes I pop to b and m or home bargains for a nosey or sometimes I just sit and doom scroll 🤣 it always makes me feel like I've had a breather so I can come back and we can both tackle bed time. Now I am going to say something that will annoy you, because best believe that it pissed me right off when people said it to me, but I promise you, it gets better. I now have an 8 month old who is one happy wee thriving girl and after having all the same feelings as you, we're all doing better and a lot happier. Again, you are doing amazing and you honestly can do this x

He's likely hungry.

If he's screaming like that then I'd be wondering if he still has silent reflux or is there an allergy. When my ds has cmpa as a baby and we didn't know I actually had to buy ear defenders he cried so much. I was actually so worn from it

can you speak to your health visitor? Poor little chap. He's needing something, you need to work out what. It's exhausting isn't it but i'd get a look at him and someone to talk it through to see what it might be

My son cried from 2weeks to 9 weeks, he ended up in liquid omeprozol for reflux and nutramigen for cows milk intolerance
Turned a corner there and then.

We try him with milk constantly as I worry he’s hungry but he just refuses and cries more. He does love his milk and is already on more than recommended for his age. Thank you for the advice will look into cmpa

Sounds like he might be a clinger, is his cot next to your bed (recommended in the first 6 months).
Some babies just want to be held all the time, make sure you sit him up for 20min after a feed as well to give the milk time to go down.

My son had CMPA. It's something GPs aren't always great with, we were referred to a dietitian in the end.

Good luck, sending you a hug x

You might need to hold him upright for more than 20 minutes with reflux - we were doing 45 minutes when it was at its worst.

I used to wear earphones to lessen the noise of the crying sometimes. Or I would go for a walk when my partner got home from work, just around the block in the dark, so I got a break from the constant crying. It was very hard, you have my sympathy.

Yeah, I went through something similar with ds I think we gave infacol (not sure it even worked but weirdly he did seem to calm down after having it), tried basically everything. We didn't use reflux milk but he was a lot better after we started giving comfort milk.
In the end it only really improved after he started sitting up, so I'm pretty sure it was the reflux love him.
You have my sympathy but just know once they get a bit older it does calm down so there's a light at the end of the tunnel. x

I would say that it means his current reflux treatment is not sufficient.
I would go back to the drs and ask about omperazole and cmpa

My daughter cried for 16-20h a day. She was on omperazole for reflux but it turned out she had severe silent reflux as well as regular reflux and multiple food allergies. Her GP only had her on a low dose of omperazole for her regular reflux but didn't pick up on her also having silent reflux which was worse than the regular reflux. She needed high dose reflux treatment and me removing foods that she was allergic too from my diet to get her to a better place

Is he tired? One thing I didn't realise is babies don't fall asleep independently (well mine didn't anyway!) so they needed to be held to fall asleep in the early days!

Husband has said he won’t go out anymore and stay home but he really enjoys what he does and his job involves sitting down all day so the exercise is crucial to him keeping slightly fit.

Accept more help from him. It's lovely that you are considering his needs. You need to consider your own too. This stage won't be forever. I'm sure your husband can cope with going to the gym just once or twice per week for the next month or two.

Rest is crucial for you to feel OK, so you and your husband need to prioritise that.

I didn't realise this either that you have to make them sleep once tgey are a bit older. I know they aren't popular on MN but have you tried a dummy to get him to sleep.

Your DH shouldn't be going out 2-3 times a week when you're going through this. Get exercise walking the baby or do a video at home.

Ear plugs. We also used to sing, it calms you and makes the time pass.

Some babies just cry a lot.

I could have wrote this about my little girl a few years ago

You say it's under control with the formula - however it sounds like he may need some additional help; possibly has silent reflux - has he been given medication from the Gp?

Is he also hungry?
My dd preferred to have more milk during the day and then be held upright for quite a while after & then have a smaller feed at night