I feel like my child’s dad is bullying me and I don’t know what to do?

[WildUmberWriter]

I am new here and was wondering if I could get some impartial advice.
My child’s dad consistently berates me over anything and everything he can. He is making me feel like an awful person and worse, a bad mum and I have to keep telling myself I’m not. It is beginning to affect to many areas of my life. And there is no stopping him. He only ever wants to raise his voice over his queries and does not entertain what I have to say. He does not talk, only argues or raises his voice.
He is threatening in his language inferring that he’s going to get someone involved. It’s as if I am a horrible person but I really am not. To give an example… my child was off school as they were feeling generally unwell and tired and she was in tears, I felt it best to take a day off (their attendance is impeccable), I messaged him before 10am saying they were off school and a little under the weather. He then accused me of lying and stating that he can’t trust me, that I am a poor communicator because I left it late to message him and that my description of feeling under the weather is false. He wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways.

This is just a minor example, is there anyone I can talk to? I feel like we need a third party communicator as I really cannot take his belittling of me anymore. It’s not fair and I feel like he is bullying me and I cannot do anything about it. This is not what I want for my child but I equally cannot morally stand for this anymore. It’s also making my child feel bad as they feel like they keep causing the argument and I have to keep reassuring them that they are not. He does not see how his behaviour is affecting people.

@WildUmberWriter he has this power over you because you've given it to him.

Is there a court order that is forcing you to speak to him?

If not, then tell him he is blocked by phone and email as he can't speak to you in a civil manner and therefore you are revoking his access to you. Send a link to a parent mediation app and tell him - not ask - that all future communication will now be via that app. He can rant and rave and threaten you but he'll be blocked so you don't have to pay attention. Tell him he is no longer welcome at your address and any handovers will be done in public via his mum or yours. He doesn't get to see you or speak to you unless its on the app.

Any threats of violence etc you should report to 101 Police as well. Lay the foundation for a non molestation order down the line if you need it.

Too many woman let their exes rule over them in this way and don't enforce healthy boundaries. Don't be one of them. Protect yourself.

Aww op, I'm so sorry. The previous poster said it all, its time to get the law involved

I wonder whether he has a financial hold over you, which is why you haven't done so already?

Do you have someone on your side, a mum perhaps? You definitely need to involve other people. Don't fight back or engage, just complie all evidence and contact a women's charity who can help you put the above things in place, if you can't do it yourself

I wouldn't make things worse by fighting back or doing tit for tat. The law exists to protect you in circumstances like this xx

Thank you very much for your input. I think you’re both completely right. There is no financial hold over me. I just really don’t like confrontation and he knows that and he knows that I would rather speak, talk and discuss rather than argue but that’s all I get along with harassment.

Yes, I have people who could help but would hate to drag them into it. But I will have to ask for support, I know this.

I think the app is a great idea and have looked into this!

I really appreciate you both taking the time to answer.