How to offer support with a colic-y baby

[BeansMeansBeans]

A neighbour we are friendly with (but not super close) had a baby a while ago and through chats my husband has found out that she is struggling as her baby has awful colic. I'd like to help somehow but as I said we're not too close so not sure what's the best move. We have sent over baking in the past as a bit of a treat, I'm just wondering would something like lasagne be well received to save them cooking? Their baby is past newborn and I don't know how much support they have. I'd offer to hold the baby for an hour or so just to give respite, but not sure if this is presumptive as I said we've only met a couple times.

If anyone is reading this who had a colic-y baby, what would you have found most helpful?

…colic-y baby, what would you have found most helpful?

Honestly, unless you are happy to walk a screaming baby around outside in a sling between the hours of 7pm and midnight, there probably isn’t much practically you can do. Particularly if she is a FTM, I doubt she would take you up on this offer even if you were happy to.

A lasagne may be nice but equally, when I was deep in the throes of a very colicky baby (hours and hours of screaming a day), an acquaintance turning up with a gift would have stressed me out. I struggled to have the emotional bandwidth to even write a thank you note. I just wanted my absolute nearest and dearest during those dark times.

Id just keep the friendly lines of chat open personally.

To be honest my partner struggled to know what to do to help.
Offer to make her a hot cup of tea and a sandwich for lunch.
Thankfully at the time my partner only worked in the office until 12 home by 1 due to covid and often when he came home I'd not been able to make myself and food or drink. If he had been working normal hours there's a good chance I wouldn't have been able to eat or drink much at all during the day. Nothing that can't be eaten standing up and with one hand
Otherwise compassion lots of compassion!

My baby was colicky and screamed morning, noon and night for months. We were both so exhausted. If a neighbour had turned up with a home made lasagne I would have cried with joy.

You need to recommend Sma xpert procol supplement sachets (you can buy it on eBay) we tried EVERYTHING and it was a very very stressful time dealing with colic. We gave our son his first sachet in his milk on the Thursday night-and Friday night onwards it was like flicking a switch - no more colic (you keep giving the sachets for a good month or so and we tapered them off gradually). It saved my sanity x

When we had a colicky baby in the pandemic I'd have loved any help from anyone. But everyone is different. Personally I'd probably put a card through the door for her saying I heard your baby has colic, I know that can be so hard, I'd be happy to help with any of the following if you ever need: and write a little list of what you're willing to offer from lasagne to listening to pushing baby out for a walk or looking after baby in her house while she naps or housework or whatever and give her your phone number and address.

This is not her first baby but equally thought she may not want me to watch her baby as I'm a bit of a stranger! Which is completely reasonable. I felt like food could be a good next step if helpful, but then I worries in case she is cutting certain foods out? Or am I overthinking this?

@FTMbg I really like your idea, I think I'll do something like that. I basically want to strike a balance between not coming across overbearing but there to help/support her through what must be miserable

Same. Or if someone offered to hold my baby for an hour so I could shower. Anything really. Lasagne is a lovely idea.

My son was very colicky, if he was awake, he was screaming. It was hell. What it did mean was other people's screaming babies did not stress me out at all.
My god daughter was very colicky and I used to walk with her for hours to give my friend a break.
I bumped into a work colleague who was on mat leave and asked her how it was going. She cried. She lived fairly near to me and I asked if I could help. She said she couldn't ask that as all he did was scream. I assured her I could cope so I arranged to go the next morning. I asked what would make her feel better and she said a bath and hair wash so I walked him round, chatting to him and singing while she had a soak . He was fine and did calm down after a while, she was so grateful. Even now about 9 years later she says she was almost at breaking point that day and just having time to do a bit of self care helped massively.

Thanks for all the replies! I think I definitely will offer to watch the baby if she is up for it, I do not mind a screaming baby as my first had some long crying periods. I think her partner is going away soon to visit family, so I will see if I can catch her before then as I'm assuming she won't have much of a break once he's away! I feel dreadful for her, she had hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy so has really been through the wringer