Just turned 1yr is too much for me.

[whymewhyme]

I feel pathetic. He's never been an easy baby he suffered with horrific reflux, which seems to have subsided. He has always been busy, so I don't know why i'm surprised with how he behaves.

He winges and moans all day long. There are a few fleeting moments of happiness, but not many. He is demanding, crys, does play with toys, shows no interest at all in tv, if I try to play he will for a few mins and he's back to winging and crawling all over me and pulling wires or plugs.he is so hard work.

All he wants to do is tip to dog bowl over, get into the cupboard, if the locked he will pull and pull and when he cant get in he kicks off, he's taking the books off the shelf, pulls at anything with wires, he's constantly on the go. If I leave the room, he just follows me everywhere. The only time I get any peace is if I pick him up, which is killing me, he is heavy, and I'm doing everything one handed.

I tried to clean the bathroom, and he's in the toilet, then he pulled over the bathroom cabinet, emptied everything out, then he pulled a towel then knocked loads off stuff off. It's like a constant battle, and I'm starting to feel down.

He's me second, and he's completely different. My other friends with babies the same age say they don't know how I cope. I can see he's different from how they behave.

I don't know what to do with him.

Anybody else had a baby similar to him, and tips or things I can do?

Can you organise one, low level, cupboard to be full of "safe" things like tupperware, plastic cups, wooden spoons etc that he is allowed to open and play with when he wants?

If you have no available cupboard space then just have a big box full of stuff like empty toilet roll tubes that he can pull out and repack at will - maybe take it into the bathroom when you are cleaning and ask him to sort it out for you?

That's a great idea!!!

He sounds fairly normal to me. Hard work though!

The best thing to do with any child is lean into who they are. He's inquisitive and physical, so make opportunities for this type of play.

As pp said, make him a treasure box (or a few) of safe household items he can play with. Babyproof as much as possible.

Get things like a tunnel, a ball pit, a climbing frame, softplay pieces or make climbing opportunities for him out of cushions/blankets etc.

Take him swimming and to softplay. Get a puddle suit and let him crawl/walk round the park.

Turn the TV off.

He sounds pretty normal to me tbh OP, think you were just lucky with the first to have got a spud baby 😂 I have 4 DC and they’ve all been more like this than not, my 8mo is currently in this stage - crawling and cruising and all she wants to do is break stuff, tip the dog’s water bowl over, climb the stairs, chew on wires, go out the front/back door if they’re open, attempt to fit through tiny spaces that she then gets stuck in…all accompanied by screaming and shouting when she’s stopped from doing whatever she wants 🙄 you just have to roll with it! In my experience fighting a baby to do something they don’t want to do but you want to them to do, is WAY more stressful than just meeting them at their level. So just get stuff he can do - I bought the baby a box of tissues the other day, she LOVED it, pulled them all out and shredded them across the floor. I needed to Hoover anyway so clean up was just part of general life and it kept her busy and quiet for ages. And I regularly let her climb up the stairs, I just sit behind her with a book and follow her up while reading 😂 it is very annoying and I won’t be sorry when she grows out of this stage, but I also know I’ll miss these baby days so I’m just trying to roll with it!

Yup. I can relate. I had a very easy DC1. Lulled me into a false sense of security so that Hurricane DC2 took me very much by surprise.

As others have said, lean into it. DC2 loves "experimenting with gravity" and deconstructing things. So allowing him a cupboard full of safe things he could take out worked wonders. Stuff that he could pile up then knock down. A true triumph (and an idea I'm still proud of) was leaning a piece of plywood against the sofa to make a ramp, supplying some toy cars, and let DC2 entertain himself for ages rolling them down the slope. If you have any PVC pipes (who doesn't love a tunnel!) or guttering, that works amazingly too. We also put some blocks at the bottom so that if a car hit them we could say "crash!". When he was big enough we got him a balance bike and let him ride it everywhere. Summertime, is all about letting him play with water outside. We go to the park regularly. My house is a tip, where between work and taking DC2 outside, not a lot gets done. But it won't be for forever.

It's bloody hard work, and I won't lie, I'm glad it's mostly over (DC2 is 2.5). But I wouldn't change him for the world.

I have a 1 year old (my second) and it all sounds normal.

I have safe zones (play pen with toys) when I need to do something like clean the bathroom. We bought a back carrier for a holiday but actually its been really useful for at home for when he is feeling clingy (normally when teething) and I need to get on with things (cook dinner).

The dog bowl isn’t a thing for us as we don’t have a dog but the cat’s drinking fountain…the desperation to reach it! Honestly it all sounds normal.

Put him in charge of loading and unloading the washing machine, kept mine entertained for ages.

Also it sounds like he wound like a busy board.

Lots of walkers have busy boards on them.

I mean the sort made from more type household items.

The thing that stood out for me is how much he can access that he ‘shouldn’t’. Also have a 12month old and we’ve blocked off all wires/drawers/etc; can you do the same? We used that trunking stuff to put over the wires, put the cat bowls in a blocked off area, etc. A
hassle at the start that will save you months and months of frustration.

Do you have a travelcot or playpen you could pop him in while you clean?

If you feel this bad it is time to return to work or to increase your hours. Everyone will be happier. Trust me!

Why don't you have an old fashioned wooden playpen so that you can get in with things?

My son was like this at age 1. It was lockdown and I was depressed, so I allowed him access to a few kitchen cupboards (open plan small house) and just let him pull every single item out and I re-set it after when he went for a nap or something. It’s not really realistic though.

The best advice I can offer is make sure you exercise him, do things that tire him out/take him out every day. Unfortunately, the do seem to regenerate after a nap so sometimes it’s futile. Other than that, my son started playing more with toys at about 20 months and it got easier. Hang in there x

Sounds normal behaviour and obviously you cannot leave a baby in the room on their own. It is also normal never to go to the loo in peace for a long time to come yet.
It does sound to me as though you need to be more vigilant about child proofing your home as you do need eyes in the back of your head once little ones are on the move.

Normal for that age. Babyproof everything and allocate a cupboard and/or a basket of safe gubbins that he's free to rummage about in. They love "real" things. Not toys. Any safe household things, utensils, different kinds of containers etc.

Get out of the house as much as possible. Go for walks in the fresh air, take him to church playgroups, book bug etc.

He's doing all the right things for his age developmentally so find a way to meet him in his exploration, rather than fight against it.

I went back to work. Much earlier than this in fact. Felt 100% better and 22 years on, never a single regret.

... and still
people want to pay peanuts for someone else to this for them, add in another child or two, and a few household chores...

I had a stair gate across the kitchen, so my son couldn't get in there at all. I also had a play pen set up in the lounge, so I could place him in there with toys whilst I nipped to the loo, cleaned the bathroom etc. I had a low level shelf that he could pull things off but any other shelves, wires, he was told a very firm No. To be honest your son sounds very normal! It's hard work, and you need extra eyes!

Oh my first child was like this. Busy. Very, very busy.

We had locks on kitchen cupboards ( except ones with pots and pans, which he was allowed to explore). Door locks so he would stay in the toddler proofed living room, toys available. Stair gates ( until he could vault them). It was tiring! Crawled at 6 months. He then got into climbing things....

But we survived it, and he now has a baby of his own, who looks like he is going to be just as active.