Is it normal to become completely invisible once your baby is born, even to your own family? I’m finding this a bit frustrating, although I know it’s nice that everyone’s excited about the baby!
DS is 3 weeks old and I had a c section. I asked family for a few days to ourselves (me, DH and DS), managed a day once we were out of hospital and then started getting messages from my dad i.e. ‘so when can we meet him then?’ No ‘how are you?’, ‘are you healing ok?’ etc.
When people come to visit, they pass the baby around like a toy. My own mum and sister didn’t ask how I was post-section, just wanted baby cuddles. Mum didn’t leave the sofa all afternoon and had DH running around after her (I was too sore to move much on that particular day).
Even my MiL, who I get on really well with and has been nothing but supportive and treats me like one of her own, only really ‘sees’ the baby now. She’s seen him most days since he was born, came over for photos at 2/3 days old and then had to come back to retake them because she didn’t like them. She’s genuinely lovely and just excited, it just feels a lot at the moment.
The final straw was on a particularly rough day this week, getting a message from my dad saying that my mum would like a diary for Christmas with pictures of DS every few pages, and by the way could I send them a picture on the group chat because they hadn’t seen him that day. Didn’t ask how we were, they don’t even pretend to care. I’d had barely a couple of hours sleep, been Bfing what felt like non-stop and DS had just been crying in between.
The back story is that my parents were crap emotionally when I was growing up and my mum in particular only cares about herself and her own feelings. Dad backs her to the hilt for an easy life. It’s so draining.
Is this normal? Am I justified in feeling frustrated or is it hormones? Totally ok with being told I’m overreacting (I cry just at songs on the radio at the moment, so well aware I might be being oversensitive!)