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Parenting

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Original poster

A 4 year old who's never been to a swimming pool - reason to judge?

110 replies

emkana · 28/04/2008 14:16

discuss

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Palegreenhawthorn · 28/04/2008 14:25

No. I didn't learn to swim till I was five and then I loved it - I became a good swimmer, very happy underwater and had a great time after that swimming as a child.

There's no particular need for kids to have been swimming by a certain age, any more than there is for them to have experienced e.g. riding a horse by then.

Plus there's a possible link between the chlorine of swimming pools and asthma - so another reason not to rush into taking babies swimming if you don't specially want to.

I think it would be sadder if a four-year old had never been to a beach or seen the sea or a lake or river shore, say, but then if they'd had plenty of other outdoor play and just didn't happen to have visited anywhere coastal, that would be fair enough.

bossykate · 28/04/2008 14:25

calm down, podmog, noone is saying it's sad if you have for e.g. medical issues which would prevent you going. not really feeling like it otoh? jeez, if i never did any of the child related things i didn't really feel like...

ButterflyMcQueen · 28/04/2008 14:26

some think the opposite

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Fennel · 28/04/2008 14:27

My dd3 is 4, she's been far less often than her big sisters. Mostly because we took them, every week since babies, but it made little difference in terms of swimming ability. Their friends who started at 6 or so soon overtook our dds in swimming prowess. So with dd3 I haven't bothered. It seemed a lot of parental effort for very little return.

Yes they like it but they like lots of things which are more fun for me than shivering around in cold pools and clammy changing rooms.

bossykate · 28/04/2008 14:27

oh calm down! noone is saying that if there's a medical problem you should take your child swimming in spite of it.

pagwatch · 28/04/2008 14:28

I have done it lots with the under 5 paglets but after that leave it to school and holidays -
when it is w/e or hols at our local pool it is like swimming with hysterical incontinent sociopaths

TheRedWorm · 28/04/2008 14:28

There's millions of lovely things we could do without children. Don't have to choose swimming.

marina · 28/04/2008 14:29

I think you could be on to something there butterfly - there's a growing body of research backing those findings
Luckily dd can now swim like a fish and neither dc has asthma, so we are finally happy family pool users, but I can imagine some families taking this trend pretty seriously and for good reason

bubblagirl · 28/04/2008 14:29

my ds is 3 and never been in swimming pool he freaks out if ears or hair get wet and no calming him plus i bled for first 2 yrs of his life only allowed to wear towels

we are going to tackle swimming this yr but outbursts from him can be embarrassing as alot of judgemental people about these days

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 28/04/2008 14:29

I used to take dd1 all the time, from being a teeny baby.

But dd2 and ds came along, and I couldn't take them on my own (at our local pools, each child under 10 needs to be supervised by an adult over 16)

We have started taking them at weekends, but this has only become possible in the last few months because dp is no longer working quite so many hours.

MadamePlatypus · 28/04/2008 14:29

No. DS and DD probably swim twice a week (4 and 18 months), but then we swim alot as a family - other families do other things. Its very important to teach a child to swim, and best for them to start learning by about 7 as otherwise it becomes something that they 'can't' do and they may be much older than all the other children in the swimming class.

However, I certainly wouldn't judge somebody for not taking a 4 year old swimming. If I were to do that I would have to get off mumsnet pretty damn quick, put my washing on the line rather than in the tumble dryer, perhaps iron my children's clothes, make an exciting art project with my children, not buy frootshoots on said swimming expeditions etc. etc. lest I be judged my self.

TheRedWorm · 28/04/2008 14:29

Whoops. That should be 'with our' not 'without' (Freudian slip showing)

Astrophe · 28/04/2008 14:29

My DS (2) has been once, DD (4) a handful of times. Indoor pool are stinky and grotty and hot and horrible imo, and I don't like going personally. We try to take them to get them used to swimming, b/c when we move to Australia it will be very important that they can swim, and SO much more pleasurable to do so as well.

Would you judge a parent for not taking a child skiing? What about going bowling? Or roller blading? Or having a tree to climb? Or a trampoline? I know swimming is a life skill, and good excersize, but honestly.

Daft.

Fennel · 28/04/2008 14:30

Cornsilk, shouldn't you take them with Molluscum? dd3 has that, is that an excuse for us to go swimming even less? (hopeful emoticon)

SixSpotBurnet · 28/04/2008 14:32

I don't think it's particularly sad, emkana. I'd never seen a swimming-pool at the age of four, or a motorway, or a dial telephone, but I survived and I can even swim now.

I very much doubt that DS3 will have been in a swimming pool by the time he's four.

OverMyDeadBody · 28/04/2008 14:32

Why would anyone judge this? There are hundreds of activities and sports a child could or could not take part in, yes swimming is an essential skill to learn, but at 4 there's still plenty of time to learn. What about riding a bike? Skiing? gymnastics?martial arts? climbing? Why judge someone for not choosing swimming?

My DS doesn't particularly like swimming pools sodoesn't go very often, and I can tihnk of more fun activities to do with him so don't bother much. He could ride a bike before his fourth birthday though.

Original poster

emkana · 28/04/2008 14:33

Just to reiterate I am not judging, just finding out how crazy my mum is.

OP posts:

cornsilk · 28/04/2008 14:35

Fennel - it was all over his back and quite nasty looking so we didn't want to risk the wrath of the other parents!We did continue to send ds1 to his lesson with it, as his was on his bum so no-one knew!

Blu · 28/04/2008 14:36

DS has never been taken to an indoor swimming pool by either me or DP.

I really hate swimming pools, I hate the smell, feel and taste of chorine, the heat, the echoey noise, the changing rooms....everything.

Once he has had his bone surgery we will send him for a proper course of swimmimg lessons as I think the ability to swim is vital. But hopefully by then he will be able to go without me having to go in with him.

He has been in the Lido a few times, and in the sea, lots, and a couple of times with friends and relatives - but 'in passing' not because we have made any effort to make sure that he does.

He's done plenty of other enjoyable 'extending' and constructive activities.

Doesn't bother me if anyone has the energy to feel judgemental about it, but not sure why anyone would.

Blu · 28/04/2008 14:36

Emkana - everyone already knows your Mum is Proper Bonkers on many of her views on how children should be

UnquietDad · 28/04/2008 14:37

Swimming pools are vile places full of other people's children kicking tepid chlorinated water in my face. I only take my children to them under extreme sufferance.

Wheelybug · 28/04/2008 14:37

I wouldn't judge but I would be surprised if there wasn't any major reason. But then I was bought up right on the coast and learnt to swim at about 3 because it was sensible to do so. Therefore, I consider it a major life skill so think it is important. At the end of the day though, its something that's important to me but isn't to everyone. Swimming lessons are a PITA though .

moondog · 28/04/2008 14:39

My neighbour got into water (a pool) for the first time ever last month. He is a 42 year old. Never been in the sea or a river or a loake even.
Bonkers.

Blu · 28/04/2008 14:39

Thank you ButterflyMcQueen - I now feel exonerated for never having bought baby DS a swim nappy and dunked him in chlorine to leak urine into the pool

But I think regular pool going promotes fuss-free hair-washing, and I regret it all on that count!

Fennel · 28/04/2008 14:40

I really wanted mine to learn to swim young, when they were babies I put it as a Top Priority. As we do a lot of watersports. But the dds just weren't naturals at it. All the others in their swmming lessons learnt well, they just piffled around happily. So I'm not at all convinced that early exposure makes much difference, it didn't to my older two.

They are all excellent early cyclists though. And skilled skaters/scooters.

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