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Kids Behaviour

7 replies

Harinder1 · 20/11/2024 12:43

I have an 8-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter, and my sister-in-law is currently staying with us. Recently, my 8-year-old has been acting in ways that my husband and sister-in-law consider disrespectful, but I think it's just typical behavior for his age. For instance, my sister-in-law asked him to clean up the playroom, and he picked up his things but decided that his 5-year-old sister should also clean up her own mess. He was disciplined for not tidying up after her, which I don't think is unusual for siblings. Another example: when we realized my 5-year-old forgot her backpack on their way to school, my 8-year-old said, "I told you to pick up your backpack." My husband saw this as bad behavior, thinking he should have carried her backpack in addition to his own. I feel these are just typical sibling interactions, but it’s causing tension at home because I’m always seen as defending him. Any advise is much appreciated!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CrocusBluebell · 20/11/2024 12:46

Why are adults putting a child in charge of bringing the 5 year old's backpack? I agree that he shouldn't have to tidy up after his sister. Only his own.

Alifemadelessordinary · 20/11/2024 12:51

Poor kid. It's up to you to parent your 5 year old. Not him.

thistimelastweek · 20/11/2024 12:56
  1. Your son shouldn't be expected to skivvy for his sister. She's not his responsibility and it sends poor messages to both of them.
  1. Your sister-in-law should butt out.

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ByHardyRubyEagle · 20/11/2024 13:04

Your daughter is not your son’s responsibility. She’s your responsibility. And why was the SIL asking him to tidy up? Isn’t that your job too?

InTheRainOnATrain · 20/11/2024 13:10

The 5YO should either be responsible for their own stuff like tidying or backpack carrying (and my 3.5YO can manage both so 5 is definitely not too young) or a parent should be taking responsibility for it. It’s really unfair to push any of that onto the 8YO. DH needs to stop expecting the 8YO to parent for him
and SIL needs to butt out.

sprigatito · 20/11/2024 13:12

Aunt Marge needs to move out. And I think your husband could do with some parenting classes, as his expectations of an 8yo (and the 5yo!) are completely out of whack.

CrocusBluebell · 20/11/2024 14:03

I agree. Bugger off Aunt Marge! 😀

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