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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Need advice on school policy and legal advice

10 replies

Nervousmum1 · 20/11/2024 10:07

I’ve read a few similar posts about this but not quite my situation and I’ve researched my issue and I think I understand but want to make sure. Basically my son has disabilities and last year had a brain injury and is still on going (symptoms) in primary I constantly was asked for medical evidence regarding his disabilities or illnesses he had very poor attendance due to all of this I provided medical evidence and how it can affect him but they wanted specific information such as how many day he would need off but his disability is complex and can vary so nor me or the specialist could answe that and as for illnesses some or most did not require a gp appointment but the school said that was required my gp point blank refused and even contacted the school to tell them this I was constantly pulled into attendance meeting and I’m the end agreed to sign for them to have permission to call his gp and access his medical records as they told me they wouldn’t need to ask me constantly so I did but they then lied and said they still require evidence they even said even authorised absence still would affect his attendance!

Also i am disabled and was extremely unwell and was on antibiotics so my son missed one day off school as I couldn’t get any friends or family to take him they even asked for proof from me! I had to send a pic of my antibiotics! But at the next meeting they tried to deny this!

Now he’s in secondary school he has a brain injury specialist but In primary the school refused to allow me to attend meetings and didn’t update me me and his specialist found this confusing and unhelpful anyway I’m still waiting for a meeting with his secondary school even though they have information from me and his specialist about his disabilities and brain injury but still they sent an attendance officer to my home with out warning after 3 missed days not ina row btw!

Also he suffered a bad facial injury after only being at school a few weeks not only
was I not contacted they didn’t give him any medical treatment such as a cold compress or ice pack and it’s been nearly 2 months and I still haven’t got any feed back since i complained they said they would investigate why I wasn’t informed or why he wasn’t given medical treatment ect and said sorry and they would get back to me! Still waiting but he’s had good attendance for a few weeks but then may require a day off due to his disabilities and brain injury but they still bombard me! From 9am! I’ve had to wait all day or days’nn at a time for info on silly issues like why he was in detention ect but they are on my back quick!

His disabilities are not straightforward and are complex but they are not happy they want specific information but no one can provide them as it’s not that easy so I need advice on what to do as I’m so sick of this and feel he’s being discriminated against or they see me as a “problem parent” or lying what can I do to stop this? It’s also causing my son to become extremely upset and worried he will be in trouble for having a day off which isn’t his fault! Or he forces himself to go to school and is then in extreme pain or he has to have more time off!

Ps his school is a 25 min walk due to road closures it takes 45mins-60 in a car/cab and they have said bring him in then sends him home again it’s like ok we can see your not lying! I feel so cruel forcing him in school in pain or crying he also struggles to walk when he has flare ups ect any advice would be appreciated, thank you

OP posts:
doctorsleep · 20/11/2024 14:31

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TheShellBeach · 20/11/2024 14:34

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Well. While I also thought that, I figured that it wouldn't help the OP to point it out.
She's obviously already very stressed, and seeking support.
Hmm

TheShellBeach · 20/11/2024 14:36

Hi OP.

I'm not sure what you want from your post.

It sounds like your child has complex medical needs, and that he has also had a lot of unavoidable absence from school.

Are you asking for advice on dealing with the school?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

yestheseareallmine · 20/11/2024 14:36

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Jesus Christ Envy

TheShellBeach · 20/11/2024 14:39

Your son shouldn't have to feel so anxious about missing school that he forces himself to go in when he's unwell.

PrincessAnne4Eva · 20/11/2024 14:47

You say they "bombard you" from 9am and this is bothering you. Are you actually phoning in sick for him every day that he's off before the absence reporting time (usually the start of the school day) as per the school policy? They need to know where he is.

Singleandproud · 20/11/2024 14:55

Does he have an EHCP? Have you applied for a specialist school? It sounds like his needs are not able to be met by this school do you need a meeting with the Sendco to discuss next steps.

Phineyj · 20/11/2024 15:00

You need:

An EHCP if you don't have one (first step is to request a needs assessment from your local authority called an "EHCNA").

To take an advocate or at least a friend to meetings. You may be able to find an advocate by googling "Your local authority name" and "local offer". The local Sendiass might be helpful.

To email a summary of what happened at meetings to whoever chaired it "At the meeting it was stated that..." (so that no-one can later easily deny they said it).

If your medically vulnerable son is getting injured at school you need to complain using the school complaints policy (should be on their website) and if they don't take your complaint seriously you should consider a different school for him.

You do need to call him in sick any day he's off, in the way and by the time the school requires. Every day he's off.

You could consider contacting your MP. At the very least I'd want a letter or email from a member of senior management at the school acknowledging that they understand your son has XYZ medical issues.

Your son should have a care plan (which says e.g. what they need to do if he's injured). Have you asked Headway for advice on that?

www.headway.org.uk/supporting-you/someone-i-know-has-a-brain-injury/

mitogoshigg · 20/11/2024 15:16

He has complex needs. What you don't say is why he is missing school - is it tiredness? Infection? Because you can't get him to school due to your disability?

They do need to work out how to get his attendance better for his sake and reasonable adjustments that might mean required do they do need to communicate.

I'm sure life isn't least but they would be negligent if they didn't call you

Lifeglowup · 20/11/2024 15:27

Surely school need the medical information so they know how to best support your child.

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