SAHMs/ WAHMs: how much time do you spend playing with your child?

[Laugs]

I'm feeling a bit guilty about having so many other things to do around the house and occasional freelance work that I'm not sure if I spend enough time actually playing together with DD.

DD (17mths) is pretty easy-going and 'polite' IYKWIM. She doesn't kick up a fuss easily and will play on her own, but I think she might be a bit bored.

I've just become a SAHM and don't know any other mums locally, but try to get to groups, library or park most days, so she does see other kids, but not children she knows.

Obviously we spend the whole day together, but a lot of the time I might be distracted doing housework or whatever. Don't know if we have enough decent play.

How do other mums cope with this?
x

I'm a SAHM and I do very little playing with mine. DS1 is in full-time school, DS2 is in nursery every afternoon. When they're both at home, they play together. When it's just DS2, he likes to play alone. I'm always on hand if they need help and, if they ask me to join in, I will but they rarely ask. I do take them out a lot, though, after school and at weekends.

It sounds like you have the balance right in lots of respects-I think it is important to devote part of the day to just being with and playing with your child-doing activities etc-a time when you are not distracted. It is also important to have time when you do your jobs and your little one learns to amuse herself.

I think I'd feel less guilty if DD had a sibling to play with - feel about sorry for her she's just stuck with me!

Im a SAHM and spend alot of time paying attention to DD but if im honest i dont actually PLAY with her that much. Im around and she will bring me a cup of tea (toy) and i will mime drinking it etc BUt i dont sit and intesively play IYKWIM. I do try and do some crafts activity atleast twice a week for about half and hour which is totally focused on her and i do go to 2 toddlers groups where we will have our 'funny 10 minutes' but rest of time im busy doing other stuff or catching that essential adult company!

do any of your kids seem quietly bored, or quite happy to play on their own?

The sibling certainly helps! When mine were pre-school, I made sure we did lots of activities with other children - toddler groups, music, swimming, etc. I also involved them in household jobs such as giving them a duster to 'help' when I was tidying up and letting them help when I was cooking. They'd stand up on a chair and happily stir potato peelings in a pan while I did the real cooking. They're not so keen now and prefer to structure their own play though we do still do activities like craft or baking occasionally.

I work but am off 1 day a week plus the weekends of course .

DS is just over 2 and when he was younger was quite happy playing with his toys, but now he very much wants/needs me to play with him all the time, which is kind of wearing when its playing football with him outside, but hey I'm hoping this stage doesn't last forever. When there are other children around, even though he is parallel playing rather than interacting, I have noticed that he doesn't need as much attention. We are trying as hard as we can on the sibling front !

Laugs - we're the same here. DD is 16 months old and I've noticed that she wants someone to play 'with' her but she will always choose another child if faced with a choice! She was very clingy until about a month ago, so i've sort of got in to the habit of being on standby for her all day and not really doing much else (except on her nursery days). That said, I do agree that if you can. it is good for them to learn to play on their own too. DD manages a max of 15-20 mins maybe once or twice a day before she comes pawing at me for attention, so then I just drop everything and have some proper quality one to one time until she gets bored and then we go out or something. It's very tough isn't it??

It is! Never thought I'd feel guilty for doing the washing up!

I suppose my concern is the opposite of yours - DD is not clingy at all really (well, not at home), but I'm worried that maybe that means I leave her to her own devices more than I would with a more demanding child.

Maybe I'll start arranging craft activites like bonkerz suggested. I'd probably enjoy it too!

I play with DS quite a lot - but also let him play on his own while I do housework or MN. I did realise recently he was spending too much time alone so I am making the extra effort to be with him. Its also partly because he is speaking now so we can have nice conversations I think that makes it easier. For what its worth I think it sounds like you are doing a great job!