4 year old accident at school

[Dancingdinosaurs88]

My 4 year old had an accident at after school sport club today. He said he didn’t ask them if he could use the loo because he was nervous to. He only started reception in September and this is the first time this has happened.

When he had the accident they asked him why he was crying. He said because he wanted his mum and didn’t tell them about the accident because he says he didn’t want them to know. He says he was scared people would smell him or notice the wee.

So when I collected him, he was soaked through on the bottoms, bless him.

I’ve had a chat with him but it does feel like it’s a sore subject for him at the moment, I’m just wondering if I should mention it to his teacher so they know some may be nervous to ask at the clubs?

Honestly I feel heartbroken for him, I remember this happening to me 30 years ago!

On another note, would you say this sort of embarrassment he’s displaying is normal?

I ask because we have always been blasé about these things so that he knows they’re no biggie and it happens to everyone. We have that approach with most things, so I’m somewhat surprised by his reaction. I can’t help but feel maybe we have gone wrong somewhere along the way if he’s feeling such shame?

What is the best thing to do moving forward? I’ve encouraged him to speak to them when he needs the toilet in future and reassured him that it’s very normal and we have all been there, including his friends etc - but I feel so sad for him.

Tell his teacher. They might remember to remind him to go to the toilet before the club next week and in future. They might not, because 30 children, but they might.

Definitely talk to the teacher, they would want to know if one of their class was struggling with something. Is the club run by school teachers or externally? If it’s an external provider you need to speak to them directly.

I’d say the level of embarrassment is within normal. Children in reception don’t really register if another child has an accident but they do often have a bit of an obsession with wee and poo so it’s understandable for a child that wet themselves to be self conscious.

It might help if you can get your child to practice asking to go to the toilet in a clear voice to you.

Thanks for the reply.

This one is run by an external provider. I would speak to them but concerned they may not handle it the best and make him even more self conscious if they brought it up with him, as he’s already told me he didn’t want them to know it happened.

His actual teacher I trust would know how to handle it.