That's going to be a bit of a long post. It's been two and a half years since my ex and I split up. It was a long, dark relationship which I left as soon as I could when I had our baby. I won't write in detail about it. I have been parenting alone from day 1, dad would just be an ornament. Nowadays he comes through once or twice a week to see his child, occasionally takes him out and that's all. If it were up to me completely, he wouldn't be seeing DS at all after all I've been through with him, but a boy needs his dad. They have a good relationship so I let it be. He doesn't help financially, and honestly I'm not asking or expecting, so it's all on me 99% of the time. My LO is almost 3. Honestly, it's been a rollercoaster and I expected that. But till now, I had the luxury of not working and looking after my child full time. He's used to me more than anyone else.
Recently he started nursery. He doesn't love it much (yet?). We've started with 3 hours a week, at the moment I don't have the option to send him full time.
Meahwile I took a student loan and went back to university (online). I hadn't finished the first degree I started in my 20s. So after some contemplating and realising life is moving on I had to do something now, to be able to elevate and improve our lifestyle in the future. I got accepted at a good university with the subject I always wanted to study and it's going alright. But lately I'm starting to think the degeee was unnecessary self indulgence for me. I just can't see it all happening together. Even though I believe it's necessary to look for ways to improve and add to yourself, which in turn would make you more successful in life, and in parenting by improving conditions for family. Or I've got it all wrong?
Now the reality is that I have to go back to work soon enough. Even if I could arrange a full time nursery for DS I feel like I'd be neglecting his needs to spend time with mommy, while chasing a degree and a job. Ofcourse finances are inarguably needed, but childhood happens only once and I feel like I'll be missing out on it. I don't have any alternatives to this. I don't mind working at all, I'd be happy to as long as I'd know DS would be well taken care of. At moments like these I wish his dad wasn't the knobhead he is, but it is what it is.
I won't even get into socialising because it doesn't exist since I'm a mom. All the 'friends' I used to hang out with disappeared in thin air. In my experience childless people don't like hanging out with mom+ child a lot. Naturally.
It's difficult for me to make new friends. I can't just go and hang out with people without DS. There's no one who could look after him. I can only do that with him and activities are limited, child friendly.
As single moms how do you do it you guys?
How do you manage finances and work properly, and give enough time to children?
Do you have any time to live your own life outside of being a mom and dad? Do you work on yourself or your personal dreams and aspirations at all? How do you find time? I know people make things happen with more than one child. But how?