Pros & cons of babies close together?

[Stardust127]

Hi

Our baby boy is 5 months old. Husband and I have been discussing the possibility of ttc our next baby in January next year. Meaning that our boy would be nearly 18 months when next baby is born, that is if we get pregnant straight away which I know is not that common.

I do know the health risks of having babies so close together & the advice of waiting 18 months. I’m more interested really in gaining an understanding of pros and cons of having them close together and real, every day experiences. Like how difficult it is etc. And if and how it would be easier if we waited a little longer.

bit of background - we also have a 10 year old (my dd from previous relationship) who is very well behaved and helpful. We also have just bought and moved into a house, with more space than previous house.

thank you 😊

There's 16 months between our girls. It was pretty easy first 8 months, then been difficult from 8 months & 2yrs (when baby started playing more and toddler had to share toys) Still is difficult in certain aspects at 19 months and almost 3 years, but so glad for the close age and in another year it'll be easier than having just 1, or a bigger age gap!

Having had a single baby and then twins, I've no idea why anyone would inflict two under two on themselves deliberately unless the fertility clock was ticking very loudly. Difficult, stressful and no advantage beyond getting the sloggy years over faster.

Mine are very close in age (13 and 15 months between them). Early years were a blur but not difficult, just full-on. Lots of juggling nursery/school/club runs as they got older. Very lucky that they all got on well most of the time and are very close as young adults.
Financials take some planning as we were often paying for activities/equipment/uniforms etc for all three at once; ditto with university. So plan ahead.

Best bit was getting through the stages quickly. They could all join in with the same activities, and never had to hang around like a spare part watching older or younger siblings. Love that they have each other ❤️

I have 16 months between my first two boys. I didn't think I'd get pregnant so quickly the second time, it took ages with the first, but conceived the first month of trying. I had no idea about health risks, but I have easy uncomplicated pregnancies thankfully.

I won't lie, the first year with two babies was difficult and I barely remember it, but it wasn't long before they started to play together and that was lovely. They are adults now, and still best friends with a very close bond. I have no regrets about having them close together.

I had another baby two years later, so it can't have been that bad!

15 months between our DS. It was hard work as all babies are! Soon played together really well.
No health issues, just an extremely quick delivery with the youngest.
Would definitely repeat if I hadn’t been over 40!!

15 months here
Pros- all done in one go, finances take a hit in one go, all activities etc have been good for both

Cons- sleep is ridiculous, they fight all the time (eldest is nearly 3), couldn't afford to work

Overall I would pick it again but only because we don't have financial difficulties!

I don’t have children but there was four and half years between my brother and I growing up. We were very close as adults but had no relationship growing up as the age gap was just too large. As a child I always envied siblings who were close in age and had sworn if I ever had had children they would be very close in age.

See, financial reasons was one of the reasons we chose to have kids super close together. We would've been far worse off to have had a gap. Tho I am self employed, with my own business which is the reason. Only had to scale down, then build the businesses back up the once

I also couldn't imagine having a newborn now. With a 19 month and almost 3yr old, things are getting easier all the time. Overlapped the hard full on years!

22m gap here. The first 9 months were easy (newborn + toddler the easiest bit yet) but two on the move was very hard. It peaked difficulty from 12-18m/2.5-3, and has gradually got easier overall.

They are best friends, entertain eachother and watching their relationship develop is beautiful. It's very hard work though.

I'm finding (5&7) that is close enough a gap that they expect to be treated the same, even when it's often not possible, which can lead to a lot of tension.

Thank you all so much for your posts 😊 it has been really insightful reading them all. I spoke with dh again when he got home from work, think we’ve decided we’re going to go ahead and start trying in January next year ♥️ we’re in a good financial position to do so, and I love the idea of them growing up so close in age.

have a lovely evening x

I'll let you know in 10 weeks when I have a newborn and a 17 month old! To be honest I'm looking forward to it, I love being a mum and feel so ready to have another gorgeous baby. Exciting times OP! X

I think there's lots of advantages but each to their own

16 months between mine. Son first, then daughter. First 12 months was really tough but after that it was easier because they were both at similar stages in terms of interests at anytime. They are extremely close now in their 20s; their sibling closeness is a really lively thjbg.

Also, my first ob/gyn said waiting six months before trying again was fine so I was shocked to learn WHO's recommendations. I know quite a lot of Mums with two under two and three under 3/4, all planned..

I had 4 under 5 at one point (yes crazy i know) 4yo (nearly 5), just turned 3yo and newborn twins, was a mad house but i loved the hectic busy days with kids running round laughing, playing together, i honestly forgot how much i love the baby/toddler stage, my 4 are now 14, 12, twins 9 and i have a 10month old (surprise baby) they all absolutely adore new baby and the big age gap has been lovely too but now im older i don’t think i could handle another small age gap, its tiring running around after one baby now haha 😂 xx