3 year old won't walk

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

He is perfectly capable of walking, running, etc. At nursery, he never sits still, at home, he barely sits unless the TV is on. But when it comes to the school run, omg. I am losing my mind.

If I don't carry him, he screams and lies down on the floor. When I do carry him, he is so wriggly and heavy, I can barely hold him. Especially now we have big waterproofs on so he's slippery!

I just don't know what to do? It's not very long, it's just car to school and back but good lord, the stress every day is awful. I dread it.

He does not do this when his Dad takes them to school!!!! He'll walk from home to school with his Dad. I end up carrying him everywhere. I'm considering one of those hip seats but they're so expensive! Don't want to start using the buggy again. Arg. Wish I could just leave him in the car 🙈🙈

I'm really sorry but this sounds totally behavioural. I suspect the only way to get through it (presumably you want him to walk with you) is to tough out the screaming. Let him tantrum and see that you are not backing down.
It's horrible for you both but is effective quite quickly. Maybe try ear plugs...?

Getting the buggy out for car to school is a bit much, but maybe that could work for now? I either do car or walk with buggy with my son, and on buggy days he’d rather sit in the buggy all the way without walking independently at all. It’s something we’re working on…

You have to stop picking him up, I think. Tell him you physically can't "Mummy's back is hurt today" and just sit him out. Every time you give in and pick him up you're teaching him that if he yells for long enough/lies down and yells, you'll pick him up.

It sucks though. I've been there!

You have my sympathies, my toddler is very similar. We get the bus to nursery and it is so stressful getting him there on time. It’s a 3 minute walk for me, about a 15 min walk when he actually walks (looking at every bug, leaf and bird on the way). I always offer him a choice of walk, or pram, which helps. However some days he will lie on the floor and refuse both. At that point I bundle him in the pram as I have a bad back and we have to get the bus!

I wish I had a proper solution for you 😅

Give him something to focus on that requires the walking as a byproduct. My 2 year old loves the green button to open the gates for example, so I say " let's run to press the green button!" Or find a certain shape or say hello to a certain friend/teacher for encouragement.

You could pick a flower or take a toy/drawing and say "let's go and show Mrs XYZ your ...." ... my daughter loved doing that!

Alternatively give him a small snack he can eat one handed and will walk holding hands with the other. E.g. cereal bar or oaty bars usually winners for my kids

We used to look at the numbers on doors and gates with DS but he's always had a live of numbers

My 2 year old is OBSESSED with numbers too!

Silly walking songs? (We had one that was walking, tgen hopping, then running, then stop) Or silly walking games - giant steps, tiny steps, skipping steps, hand on your head steps? (You have to do them too). Or scooter?

Just don’t carry him, ever, if that’s what you want to stop. If he tantrums, ignore and wait calmly, perhaps chatting to your other child, or passing friends.

Thank you everyone! Totally know it's behavioural, and I need to stop giving in 🙈 I just always feel I'm in a rush getting from a to b, trying to do everything for everyone ! Usual story for everyone I think!

Thanks for the strategies, I'll try some tomorrow and see if we get some relief ♥️

Dad does it, or you drive

Do yourself a favor

Have you tried a scooter or balance bike? Mine hated walking at that age but would use those.

I also came to suggest scooter - if he can be trusted!

I used to say "Mummy is leaving now. Shall I leave you behind?" normally worked when DS was small. They hate being abandoned!

Definitely a scooter!

I keep backing down, they soon learn they kick up a fuss and they’ll get their own way. Visit GO and see if there are any parenting classes u could attend, most are held online.

DS used to be a bit like this for DH, never for me. It only stopped when DH injured his back and physically couldn't carry him for a couple of weeks. He was fine walking when he knew daddy's back was poorly, and by the time DH was back to normal, it had become entrenched as a new habit and on the rare occasion he asked to be carried, we just said he was too big to be carried anymore. That was that 🤷‍♀️

Totally know it's behavioural, and I need to stop giving in

Yeah if you keep giving him to him know it's only going to get more difficult as he gets older. You've had some really good suggestions on here already but the biggest thing you should take away is to stop giving in to tantrums

The fact that you're considering ways to carry him means it's completely behavioural and he's taking the piss out of you.

Stop picking him up. Leave earlier and just wait it out. Be more stubborn than him. There's not a chance in hell I'd carry my 3 year old and he knows it. So he'd never ask.

Would it be awful to have him in a harness and just haul him to his feet when he tried to lie on the floor?? Being hefted like a handbag wouldn't be as much fun as being picked up and he wouldn't be able to squirm away from you.
And if at all possible then planning a week of mornings where you allow extra time to wait him out and just adamantly not give in seems sensible.

Leave earlier to take the stress out of it.

Play all the way there
my favourite trick was to call the metal cover plates on the pavement (the ones on roads don't work) power up plates & you rush to get your feet on one & the power up whooshes you (DS!) to the next one.
This time of year using the leaves as stepping stones works too.
Or sing an action song- "jumped aboard a pirate ship & the captain said to me" etc

Dont pick him up! Hopefully he'll be having too much fun to remember to fuss💐

Scooter is not always useful so tread carefully. Half the time I'm pulling her along or carrying it, so it can be pretty pointless. I wish I hadn't started all that now. Some days I just tell my DD4 to walk and we'll chat and play I Spy instead.

Yes. It would.

We had this with dd4, she's just started to walk most places now and has just turned 4 😬 we started to explain that it hurt us to carry her and that other children smaller than her were not being carried. We would would carry her then put her down to walk then agree to carry again, like if you walk to that lamp post I'll pick you up until that car then I'll out you back down until they fence etc. just make the walking longer and explain that they're heavy and hurt your back. It's a comfort thing I think can also be a laziness thing. They have got smaller legs so I guess we should remember that but they should be doing some walking by 3