Is this burnout

[User543211]

This is potentially just a moan but I feel so out of my self at the moment it's quite scary. The future looms ahead of me and the though of week in, week out like this just makes me feel so miserable and I feel like all the things I'm dreamed of are never going to happen (holidays with the children for example). I have no time to myself and I need to know it's going to get better! I have 2 kids, aged 3 and 2, and a husband. Our days look like this:
6am up, take kids down and try to get dinner on, wash on etc.
7am I start work (from home). Husband gives kids breakfast and gets them ready, takes them to nursery for 8 then he goes to work.
I have a 20 minute break in the day where I try to eat or do a workout/ get dinner on/wash on/run an errand like posting vinted stuff/have a shower as sometimes I have no time in the morning or at night.
3.15 I finish work, go and get kids, home and sort them dinner or snacks (they are very overwhelmed in this hour and I need to regulate after nursery so they can't do anything independent in this time which is fine and I want to be present with them)
5pm husband home and we spend an hour and a half together as a family.
6.30pm I log back on to work until 9pm. Husband does bedtime.
I get downstairs 9.15 and am just knackered. Husband has tidied up and sorted dishes etc. I'll usually do something on my phone while watching TV like admin stuff until 10pm, then bed and repeat. Kids often awake at night and the last few weeks have been bad with illness etc.
I work FT over 4 days so Fridays I take the kids to a playgroup and to the park etc.
Husband works Saturday mornings so I take the kids to gymnastics. Saturday pm we try to spend as a family, Sunday he usually is doing our house renovations whilst I have the kids.
We have spent 30k on nursery in the last 3 years and have only managed to afford 4 days camping each year which is lovely but tiring. Nursery is still around £600 a month with funded hours but our mortgage is about to go up by £400 a month so that's good but also doesn't free up cash. I'm picking up bar work on the odd Saturday night to make cash. He earns 40k and I earn 34k. Used to be a deputy head on much more but quit after kids as I couldn't manage the stress.
We are so lucky to have health, a wonderful home, my job is so flexible, no stress, it's great and saves us nursery fees, but it all just feels so pointless. Renovation is so slow (can't afford to get people in), we finish a room but can't afford furniture so everything looks mismatched and not my taste because it's from marketplace.
Ancient car which we own, we have an 8k loan for some renovations that had to happen before we moved in. We have no savings for the kids or for anything else and I just feel like what's the point? I would love to be able to take the kids on a 'proper holiday' or save for their education but can't. If anything big goes wrong we'd be stuck.
I used to like running. Someone suggested to me I take an hour lunch and go for a daily run and I just felt like screaming don't you get it?! Every minute of my day is accounted for and I'd have to make up that work time somewhere?! I could go when husband gets home from work but I like that family time and feel guilty.
I know all this is temporary and that we have so much that others don't have. I just feel like life is passing me by and the kids will have left before we have the time and money to actually slow down a bit and save for them and go on holidays.

I think this is just a stressful phase for most people.

The thing that struck me was - you seem to pick the kids up really early from nursery

When mine were that age, I picked up at around 5:30 so I had got my work done and didn't need to log on again in the evening. The kids had tea at nursery and didn't need to eat again so it meant no rush sorting dinner for them. They had a bit of toast or fruit if needed.

It obviously did mean we saw a lot less of them in the week but it worked more smoothly overall and meant we got an evening.

If you used to be a deputy head, surely you can do something more lucrative than bar work for extra cash? Tutoring or supply or even babysitting?

OK - so a couple of good things. In a year or so your children will be able to do just that little bit more without you, hopefully their sleep will be better and there will be less physical "stuff" to do.

You are also at the most expensive time for childcare with 2 pre-schoolers - this will get cheaper. Most people have no spare money with pre-school children, even if they are not trying to afford to pay for house renovations as well.

I don't know if you are suffering burnout, but it does sound like you and your DH are trying to do too much. The "easy" fix is to look at jobs - can you or DH go part time temporarily, for example? Any household type jobs need to be kept to the absoutely essential. I appreciate that the renovations will be ongoing for a while, but cna you get to a point you can live with for a wihle and give yourselves a break?

@kiraric thank you. yes I pick them at 3.30 to save money. Funded hours only cover until 3.30. Nursery has set pick up times so the next pick up slot is 5.30 which would be £15 each per day = £480 a month extra. Perhaps we could do this even on one day just give myself time to finish work in the day. Or perhaps move to this next week when my youngest gets more funded hours as well.
I just do the bar work as the pub is next door and I can just rock up. I know the locals and can have a chat, it's not a busy place. I have tutored before but it takes planning to set up and is regular, can't let people down. The bar work is every few weeks when I feel like it or if I need and extra £50 for something. But I take the point, thank you.
@redskydarknight you are right regarding the renovations. The house is fine as it so we should probably just leave it for a few years and pick it back up again after.
I'm never normally like this as a person and am normally really positive and content. I'm trying to secure a promotion as well ( could afford to go part time then) but the applicant forms take so long and I just can't find the headspace to do it!