Are we going backwards? Is DD1 just being naughty or am I being useless?

[chrissnow]

DD1 (almost 3) has been toilet trained for a couple of months. Very few wee accidents at all. She will use potties/toilets with or without seats, public loos anything so I know she has no toilet fear. She was doing poos on potty/toilet for about 2 weeks but suddenly for the past week has been doing them in her pants. Given that you're not supposed to show anger I haven't told her off and calmly cleaned her up, put new pants on and said we'll try again . . .
Anyone got any ideas why she's doing this? Initially she used to say sorry, now she laughs. She is making no effort to tell anyone she wants to go. Has she 'forgotten' the sensation. She still asks for wees and hasn't had any problems at all there. I'm at a total loss. We've started a star chart which is working well for behaving at dinner time and not throwing tantrums, but the toilet potty part is having no effect whatsoever.

HELP!!!

You have my sympathy. My ds pooed his pants for about a year after he was dry day and night. Unlike your dd, he didn't have a short phase of poos in the right place except once when I think he pooed on the loo by accident. I tried bribery but in the end he did it when he was ready.

In your place I would be ruthless. Whatever she says she wants, make doing a poo on the loo(or in potty) a condition. So no sweets, crisps, watching tv etc till she's done it. If that means no sweets, crisps or tv at all for months, so be it. Or whatever it is that your dd wants but does not need.

Thanks elastic. How refreshing for someone to be ruthless. I'll try it.

I'm not sure I agree with the current advice of ignoring undesirable behaviour (pooing in pants).

Don't shout at her when she does it, of course, but surely there is nothing wrong with saying "DD, we don't do poos in pants. Poos go in toilet. What you just did is not a good thing. Mummy will now have to clean this up and all your clothes are dirty as well, and that is not good at all".

It sounds like she laughs because she doesn't think there is anything wrong with pooing her pants.