I don't know how to spend time with my children any more - what do you do with your 6 and 4 yr olds?

[elliott]

Now that my ds's have moved beyond the toddler/preschool stage, I am feeling a bit non-plussed about how to play with them. Now that its not always me deciding what activites we should do, getting out the paints/playdough etc, I find myself wondering if I am doing enough to get them involved in a range of activities. They don't seem to know what they want to do a lot of the time, they don't often play together without coming to blows(!), they don't seem to want to play with their toys much, and I am often left wondering 'ok, what do we do now then?' Not really helped by the fact that the time I am with them is so much less now they are both occupied in school hours and I just feel a bit like I don't know anymore what I shoudl be doing with them.
We do quite a lot of outings at the weekend, swimming, walking, cycling, and that usually goes well - its mainly time at home that can seem to drag.
Does anyone else feel like this? Or do you all find it easier to keep your older kids entertained?

I've a 3 and a 7 year old

Buggering about in the garden.
Painting and colouring
Cooking
Left to their own devices (very good for them)
Looooooong baths
Reading
Messing about on the computer (fave activity seems to be going through family photos)
Watching vids

DH is great. He builds amazing sand cities with them in the sand pit and gives them hammers and saws so they can do DIY.

I'm not so great at playing and being creative but I'm happy to do cooking with them.

Also I find if you get them some good age appropriate games, you only need to play with them once or twice until they know the rules then they'll go off and play them with each other.

I think there's a lot to be said for ignoring them too. You don't have to be responsible for all their entertainment so don't feel as if you do.

Walk in to town, trip to the park.
Supervising as they ride bikes/scooters etc in the street outside our house.
Playing ball/racquet games with them.
Trips to the library.
Computer/tv time.
Baking cakes.
Letting them have friends around to play.

Mine are mostly happy left to their own devices - lego, bionicles, computer games but 6 year old plays chess with dh ( I hate chess), both are happy with board games and charades, dd (4) likes to 'help' write shopping lists and writes 'letters' to people. They mainly want to be left to play alone and then dive onto me for a cuddle if I dare sit down.

I have two boys aged almost 4 and almost 7. They are home schooled so we have many more hours to fill! It really does depend on your sons' interests, but mine love board games. There are loads of games that we can play all together. They also like imaginative games like when they pretend they are space explorers or something and I have to give them "missions". We do this in the park as we don't have a garden, but if you have a garden you can send them out there on their missions and they just come back to you for new ones! My boys also love playmobil and play with thattogether a lot.

It's a very awkward "in-between" stage. Too old to have you constantly organising and controlling their activities and too young to go outside and play with their friends in the street.

Library
After school club for one session a week.
Soft play once a week
Friends round once a week.
Alternate you having them at your house one week and your friend having them round yours the other week.
Fruit picking

I have DS6 & DD4 so same ages when we are at home its usually
Art stuff, deciding to make something then getting cardboard glue etc out.
Top trumps for DS he loves the dinosaur ones. Trampoline in the garden I usually get on it with them (which has just reminded me to do my pelvic floor exercises whilst writing this )
Baking
Finding Dinosaur/princess games on computer to help them with.
Watching films/animal documentaries together.
Hide & seek is always a winner.
Putting music on and having a mad dancing session (usually occurs when I have had a glass of wine
Playing on Wii/ help DD to play against DS.
Sometimes get them a massive cardboard box and they play for hours in it.
erm will think some more...

Building - with bricks, lego, cardboard boxes, cushions - anything. Making dens - a tent in the garden is worth hours of peace. If you haven't got a tent, a big sheet over the washing line held down with some bricks is just as good.

We used to make a car out of a big cardboard box, or a boat. Push the easy chairs together to make a ship, with a broom handle and a pillow case for a sail.

A few blankets can be draped over the furniture to make a den indoors if it is raining.

TBH I used to take mine out with wellies and and waterproofs, unless there was actually a hurricain or a blizzard.

Treasure hunts either round the house or garden or park. You can draw clues on small pieces of paper, or just send them to find small objects.

Little boys just need loads of exercise, regularly. Like puppies.

I am getting all nostalgic now.

As usual - have X posts with loads of other people with lots of ideas!

hmm, ok perhaps it is just my parental inadequacies then
I think I also have difficulties with the dynamic between the two of them. ds1 does actually spend quite a lot of time alone and will happily think of craft projects and get on with them. ds2 however needs constant input/interaction which I find exhausting, plus it also tends to marginalise ds1. (so today, for e.g., ds2 announced 'I want to do craft' and then spent the next hour running in and out of the playroom trying to get me to do it for him...he finds it very difficult to just get on with things on his own) They don't often play together WITH things (e.g. playmobil) and I think this is part of my frustration. Occasionally (usually first thing in the morning) they will happily do some kind of role play game but ds1 (like me!) can't really cope with ds2 for prolonged periods...I think once ds2 is old enough for more playdates it will be much easier...
even trying to play a game together, if I am not with them they will very quickly come to blows over it...
I suppose I would like them just to be able to play with each other without me having to break it up every five minutes, but its just not happening...
I think getting the sandpit up and running again would be a good idea though.

Maybe it is just that ds2 is still a bit too young to play without your input?

Everything gets easier once the weather improves and they can be outside, and ds2 will gradually get more independant as he gets a bit older.

Don't feel inadequate - little boys are hard work, and they are all different.

I do have my cant be bothered days too but force myself to play with them.
I encourage my DS to tolerate DD with things if they are playing together ie: on the wii, bless her she cant really do it but wants to join in so say to him just give 5 mins letting her play with you and then he does and says "well done DD" your doing well and I think this encourages him to tolerate her in other areas. The play together quite well mostly but do have their flare ups when he gets frustrated with her.
Another one to try is playing doctors or shops they take turns (with my supervision) to be keeper/doctor.
Your not inadequate at all its really difficult staying motivated to play with them. Playing with them and not getting frustrated with them arguing etc also takes patience which Im not blessed with all the time.
Do you encourage them to play together?