Leaving breastfed baby for weekend

[Fupoffyagrasshole]

Been invited to a cousins wedding in Ireland

it happens next year when my baby boy is 11months old

plan was for me to go alone and husband stay here in London with the kids (it’s a child free wedding and we can’t really afford to fly us all back anyway at the moment)

he’s 6 months now and exclusively breastfed and a bottle refuser!

can I realistically leave him for say 3 nights while I go when he’s 11 months or is it just not going to be possible.

My daughter is 3 and was bottle refuser too and I don’t think I would have even considered going when she was 11 months old

however as he’s my second I’m a bit more chill about these things - but I’m having second thoughts now - i can’t really picture how things will be in 5 months time and I’d be so far away and couldn’t easily come back if it was a disaster

so I just need to decline or do you think I could go ?

I have a 1 year old bottle refuser and haven't managed a night out yet.. so it would be out of the question for me. Can you wait and decide nearer the time?

For me, it just wouldn’t have been possible, unless you plan to wean him by then or he’s really good at taking a bottle. I did leave mine around 16 months, but I had weaned him off the boob at 15 months, so he was eating plenty of solids and drinking cups of cow’s milk by then.

I personally would decline, but I generally can’t be faffing about with children and childfree destination weddings.

It would not have been possible with my dd.

Every child is different, but she was very stubborn, never a good eater, and keeping her weight up was a constant issue.

To be honest I just don’t think it will be possible unless you get him onto formula by then. He shouldn’t go all weekend without milk at that age. My DS is the same age and he’s still having 4 bottles a day as well as all his meals. If he didn’t take bottles I wouldn’t even be able to go away one night at the moment.

Get him on to solids and offer a sippy cup type of thing instead of a bottle and see if he’ll take that? By 11 months, I’d see if he’d have cows milk too.

Yes I left my daughter at 18 months for a wedding fit 4 nights but she was only having a breastfeed once a day by then and I decided to stop around then and the trip away actually helped with that and she was fine without me

I’ve had a few nights out (when I say nights out been home by 10 or11and he’s been fine as husband was able to distract him / play with him carry him around

we Are trying with a bottle and have had some success but he’s not super into it

i need to decide by Monday as flights are cheap now and I have to let my sister know about the air bnb asap

I was so set on it then suddenly remembered he’s not even going to be 1 and then i talked myself out of it! Not going is probably the right thing - if it was just A few months later it would be fine

Does it have to be 3 nights or can you do less? I recently left my 7 month old bottle refuser for 1 night only (and not even 24 hours in total). Only felt OK doing this because he loves his food so I knew he wouldn't go very hungry. He does like formula too, just not the actual sucking from a bottle, so my mum (who was looking after him) was able to give him some milk from a sippy cup.

I def wouldn't have done it for longer than a night though.

All babies are different but my 1yo (birthday next week) wouldn’t be too bad for the first half of the night (my DP can rock him to sleep and puts him to bed often) but we co-sleep and I feel like he needs to have my nipple almost constantly in his mouth from about 3am otherwise he just screams until you get him up (we usually get uo at 5am anyway, despite my efforts to keep him in bed).

Obviously you could go, but it could be a rough ride for your DP, even if you can get the baby to take expressed milk.

I can’t really go less time as It’s a 3 hour drive from the airport so I need to be there the night before! I could possibly push it and do 2 nights - but I’d be bloody wrecked and it seems too much hassle tbh

the fact husband will have 3 year old as well I think it would be a real struggle 🤣

on the bright side if I don’t go I suppose I’ve saved myself a lot of money

but I was really looking forward to it as obviously don’t get out much these days and it will be such a fun weekend!!oh well such is life I suppose :)

appreciate people’s thoughts on this though has kinda helped make up my mind

If the flights are cheap can you book and then either cancel or move them if it becomes clear that it's going to be more trouble than it's worth?

I have a nearly 10 mo bottle refuser. I've not been able to leave him for 1 overnight as he wakes for feeds at night. If I were you I'd try sippy/open cup and/or an easy bottle like Minbie. If not for these 3 nights then for the odd night out or two and your sanity.

If you're having some success with the bottle now then it's very likely that by then he'll happily take the bottle. Mine were bottle-refusers too which resulted in them starting nursery (age 6m) whilst only just starting to try solids but not taking bottles at all. The amount of expressed milk I wasted in the first few weeks was ridiculous but they got there in the end when they realised there was no choice. At 11m, he'll be taking more in solids so that will make up for it. Can't say for certain it will be OK but very likely.

I don’t think you can go unless you can wean him off the breast and onto a bottle by then. Three nights is just too long and it would be a nightmare for your husband especially with a 3 year old too. Only other option is to all fly over and rent a house nearby for a couple of days but, as you know, that’s expensive.

Three hours is a long drive, any chance at all of getting a closer airport?

I’m sorry. I know it’s disappointing, but I think you’ll have to get him used to and happy with a bottle if you want to go.

It depends. I know that’s not helpful but my ebf bottle refuser took to food well (blw - he was a control freak who wouldn’t be spoon fed) and because of the bottle refusing we really emphasised dairy and I trained him to use a cup so by 11 months I could definitely leave him in terms of nutrition.
I also stopped feeding him to sleep just before ten months.

I don't understand why an 11 month old would need a bottle? Can't they just use a cup? I stopped breastfeeding my 2nd at 11 months, he just had cows milk out of a sippy cup after that. Same with my first (though I stopped at 14 months with her so slightly older).

There’s a slightly closer airport with a 90 min drive to wedding venue - but I’d have to rent a car adding expense as everyone else is travelling from Dublin! So I’d have a lift if I go there

this is the thing @TenderChicken he could well be fine and drink out of a cup by then! but I can’t know for sure

my 3 year old didn’t drink out of a cup for ages she was around 14/15 months I think she really struggled with it! And she wouldn’t drink milk and still
won’t only water !!

wish you could predict these things

Chances are he’ll be fine but I don’t want to waste my money booking the flights and air bnb then closer the time I can’t go! It’s too risky and money pretty tight at the moment
(Although I could just about afford to go!)

by 11 months, most kids would be eating enough to manage a weekend.

He could have breast milk from a cup

if he was fine to leave for the weekend - what about my boobs - would I need a pump ? I’ve never actually pumped at all before

by 11 months milk will not be his primary source of food so he won’t starve. Nonetheless if you use BF to settle out comfort him I imagine 3 nights would be hard for your husband. I did one night when mine were that age.

Ps shock horror but both mine at one year never talk a bottle and never drank milk (just refused). We gave lots of yogurt and under diary,

11 month old EBF baby here. CMPA too which complicates things.

I honestly couldn't even contemplate leaving him for even a night. He's up multiple times in the night wanting milk. He is good at solids but can't get milk into him other than from me. You can really tell when he hasn't been having much milk in how he is.

I can leave him all day, he goes to nursery just fine. And if I've been with him in the day, I can hand him to DH and go out 'for the night' (I mean 5pm-11pm) and it's fine. But he'll be after milk by time I get back. I couldn't have him go straight from nursery to me going out without giving him milk. So a full 24 hours would be a no no never mind 3 days.

All babies are different. But the baby not being ready is definitely a risk.

Leaving an 11 month old for a full weekend to go to a wedding/ party is nuts. Regardless of whether they’re breastfed or not.

Of course it isn’t.

Really @StevieNic ? He’d be with his dad who is more than capable! If he took a bottle and I was confident that he’d drink enough formula while I was gone then I’d have zero issues leaving him with my husband.

But is this for milk or comfort. A 11 month year old shouldn’t need milk through the night.

i think OP needs to distinguish between nutritional aspects vs comfort for baby