18 month old not settled at nursery

[charltonred]

DS 18 months goes to nursery 2 days a week. He’s been going since 12 months, he settled into the baby room within a few weeks and although his naps were never as good as at home he was doing ok.
He moved up to the toddler room 9 weeks ago and it’s been an absolute nightmare. He only naps between 20-50 minutes there all day, they say he’s woken by other children and doesn’t go back to sleep. He is absolutely hysterical at drop off (he was fine in the baby room, sometimes a few tears). He screams and cries clinging onto me, I feel honestly awful. Sometimes when we go to collect him he is crying but they are telling us he’s having good days.
The main issue he is having absolute meltdowns when we get home. He’s beside himself, it takes me ages to get him to sleep and he’s also up half the night crying or waking up.
I’m hoping for any similar stories where your toddler has eventually settled? I’m starting to feel so guilty I might pull him out.

Oh, that sounds so tough for all of you. I'd say the first thing to tackle is the sleep – the crying at collection and the disastrous evenings and bedtimes would probably improve quite a bit if he weren't absolutely shattered.

What have nursery said they are doing to help him nap better? DD2 is a very, very light sleeper (getting a bit better now at 2.5), and her sleep mat in the toddler room was in the very furthest, quietest corner. Would he do better being one of the first helped to sleep, so he has as long as possible before some children start getting up?

If things like that aren't helping, I'd be asking if for now he can nap wherever he was previously. I know our nursery have children nap out of age group when necessary – a toddler still on two naps napping in the baby sleep space, a three year old in the preschool rooms still needing a regular nap, so napping with the two year olds and so on.

Even if you can get the sleep sorted, at this point it might take a while for him to catch up on sleep, the poor wee thing.

With drop-offs, would they consider having you drop him off to one of the baby room staff members and then they take him up to the toddler room? DD1 did that for a wee bit, and she wasn't the only one. Just until he's got a stronger bond with the toddler room staff to make the transition easier.

Do you need the nursery for childcare?

Pull him out unless he has to be there. He sounds miserable.