Help! Need your tips and tricks to get toddler to nap

[kisaki333]

Hi,

So my DD is 2y9m. She's always been a bad fall-asleeper (sleeps like a log once she's down, but to get her asleep is a nightmare)
Lately, she's resisting her naps like they are the devil.
Today, for example, she woke up at 8am. Naptime would be around 2pm usually. At 2, she was in the car, tired, with her dummy on. All things that usually get her to fall asleep. She had her eyes closed for the entire drive but I could tell she wasn't asleep. Indeed she wasn't, and when we got home, she wanted to play and nothing we did got her to lie down and sleep. By 4PM she was a demon, it was so obvious she was dead tired. Still she refused sleep so we kept her awake until about 6.30 (with tv and books and some food) and then quick bath and she pretty much passed out at 7PM.
She is clearly not ready to drop her nap. But how can I get her to sleep when she flat out refuses? Any ideas or suggestions?

I hate to say it, but she sounds like she's dropping her nap whether she's ready or not. Mine stopped napping at nursery earlier than at home but we had to take him out in the buggy to make him sleep, and he'd stopped altogether when younger than your DD. And yes, he was flagging by the end of the day! When we stopped trying for naps at home we replaced it with quiet time, where we'd read him stories for 45 mins or so to relax.

Agree she absolutely sounds ready to drop the nap - sorry!!

Yup, fully ready to drop the naps I’m afraid 😂

What would be her usual times for waking, napping and going to bed?

Mine dropped the naps at that age sorry. You ight just have a week or so where she's a demon at usual nap time but then adjust properly to no nap. I'd just go with it tbh. What times her usual bed time? 8am wake up is amazing by the way!!

Why don't you think she's ready to drop the nap? You're worrying about it too much. When kids drop their naps for good there's often a transition period. For the next month maybe you might find some days she naps some days she doesn't. Just crack on with your day and you'll figure it out.

I'd start the bedtime routine earlier though. Dinner before 5, bath, then chill out time. Quiet toys, maybe some calm television if you want. Into her bedroom by 6:30 for some stories and bed no later than 7pm.

My 3 year old sleeps 7-7/8 and he has dinner at 4/4:30 and then a supper of toast or porridge later if he's still hungry. She might be difficult at 4 as she needs her tea.

I think she’s ready to drop her nap too; unfortunately this is how it goes for a while with them being tired and often acting up towards the end of the day. My DD used to go to bed at 8pm then after dropping her nap she would go to bed at 7pm instead

Yeh definitely this too. Don't be afraid to put her to bed early. If she's tired she's tired. We have days where my son was in bed by half 5 🤷🏻‍♀️ you figure it out in the end. It's just a transition period.

Hi all!

Thank you so much for your replies!
The reason I think she's not ready is because:
24h in a day
She sleeps MAX 11h (including nap, if there is one)
She can't stay awake more than 11h and, of those, the last 3-4h are a nightmare, she can't be reasoned with. It's all, throwing things and having meltdowns over basic things.

So I have at least 2h extra a day that I can't account for. If she naps, then she can be awake and happy while she is awake, including the 2h.

Btw, someone was saying 8am waking is amazing. Sure, but that only happens when she napped the previous day and she went to bed at 11pm 🥲
So last night she slept from 7pm to 6am. So today she has to nap, otherwise I have to get her in bed at 5pm and then she'll wake at 4am etc etc.
So we're kind of in a cycle of one day nap, one day no nap- but she's still resisting the nap on the 6am waking days...

I set up a blanket on the floor in the sitting room, tell her she doesn't need to sleep but can rest. I put on some white noise and 9 times out of 10 she drifts off.

At that age I was having a cuddle on the sofa at around 3 and he'd nod off incidentally. Sometimes I'd have some boring tv on (period drama or something) to capture his attention but not hold much interest. I'd never let him sleep more than 10min - it was just enough to get through to bedtime.

Might not work for everyone, but the little power nap did wonders for us!

Both mine had stopped napping by that age I’m afraid. I wouldn’t count on that being a thing that she does everyday now.
She will be tired later in the day obviously but that’s just the way it goes! 6:30 bedtimes for a while.
Quite time with books or the tv may be the way forward instead.

Both of mine would have a nap every other day or every third day when they were dropping their naps, that lasted a couple of weeks, both wouldhave a quick half hour or so in the buggy or car and be ok.

I'm afraid you just have to work through them being a terror for a couple of weeks and get through it. Once you get onto the no nap schedule it's much easier than trying to force it or mucking about with increasingly early bedtimes.

You've given her the opportunity to rest.
Nothing else you can do. Keep going with a rest or quiet time, around nap time. She'll possibly take you up on it some times.

FWIW, mine didn't nap at that age, and probably did less than 11 hours a night. He's a lovely teenager now.

How long is she napping for when she does nap? Many people find they have to cap the nap in the stage before they're quite ready to drop it entirely.

I have similarly low sleep needs children (10-11 hours a night at the same age, although no longer napping) and our routine when they did still nap was bedtime 8-8.30 pm, wake up 6-6.30 am, nap of 30 minutes-1 hour (time varied depending on nursery or home).

If you spend a week or two consistently trying a pattern that gives her 11 hours total in the day, with nap at a time that she's looking naturally tired, and she's still fighting sleep, then I'm afraid I'd agree that she probably is ready to drop it, as painful as the transition is. (Lots also have phase where they nap only some days just before they drop it entirely.)

Yep she's dropping the nap. My son is the same age as yours (well a month older) and he started dropping his naps a few months ago. We went back and forth between them and now he rarely naps. He can still be a terror in the evening because he's so exhausted but you just have to power through because there's no point getting them down for a sleep at 3/4pm as they end up going to bed so late and tired the next day.
Our routine has been off the past couple of weeks due to illness so he's been sleeping when he wants but generally he's up at 7ish and asleep 6.30/7ish. When he first dropped the nap he couldn't make it till 6pm but now it's more like 7pm and he can seem to handle it better.
It's a long process and don't rule out naps completely, they'll definitely be some days that she needs one.

Honestly, you're overthinking it. Some kids transition easily. Some don't. Shes just adjusting to it and she'll be fine soon enough.

You're shooting yourself in the foot trying to find ways to keep her napping.

Thanks all! I don't mind her dropping the nap, if anything, I am excited about it as it might mean we all get a better and longer night's sleep. It's the transition period that's confusing me. But sounds like the consensus is just flow with it and give her time.

One question I have is HOW do you do quiet time? Like how do you get them to sit still and chill? Even the dummy doesn't do it for us. Only way she will is tv but it just seems to agitate her even more in the long run 😒 I tried boring TV but she won't have it... she knows Bluey is an option (and is very close to figuring out how to put it on herself 😥)

My son likes to build a den and take his torch and Yoto mini in to listen to stories. He'll drag a pile of books in too. Nothing wrong with cuddling up to watch some telly but you know best which programmes are calming and which send her hyper. If she still likes a buggy walk then that can provide some downtime for her if she's happy to sit and watch the world go by while you run some errands.

Yeah you just got to go with the flow. It's very frustrating some days, you can see they do need a nap but they won't go to sleep. It's just the transition and will get easier.
My son doesn't watch tv really so for quiet time we will play with some toys but calmer things like building Duplo etc. saying that , we don't really have a set quiet time.
We are out every day till 1/2ish and get back and then he plays. We might do some crafts /stickers in the afternoon. Things like that.