My son is almost four. He has been potty trained for around 18 months. I can't remember the last time he had an accident when in the care of his parents and grandparents - he very consistently asks when he needs to go to the loo.
The issue is that every. single. time he is at nursery (two days a week) he has multiple accidents, wees and poos. We get fewer than a day a month in which he is accident free.
He tells us he doesn't like the toilet at nursery - it's a compost toilet in a cabin, but clean and bright and warmed by a space heater. He just hates it, and will hold his pees and poos until he absolutely can't any longer, then he has accidents.
Nursery remind him all the time, but he simply won't try going.
I don't know how to fix this. His clear preference is to soil himself and be changed rather than use their toilet. We have talked to him multiple times, role played, tried to ease his worries. He now gets upset discussing it, which is obviously counter productive.
We've tried incentivising him with rewards for accident free days, but it has had no effect. He doesn't care enough about the incentives.
At this stage I'm considering withdrawing him from nursery and finding another one, even though he loves it and we love it, because the issue seems to be the nursery toilet (it's a forest nursery, so the toilet is unconventional) and I can't see how this is going to get better while, in his mind, no outcome is worse than having to use the nursery toilet.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm at my wits end with it. He has sore skin from being wet and dirty so often, the laundry is a killer, and it's hugely demoralising.