Would you ask for your child to be invited to a party they haven't been invited to?

[Char123x]

Quick back story - we're new to the school, 3 weeks. My child has been talking about a party that is taking place this weekend and saying he's excited about it... I don't know anything about it. I've seen one message on a WhatsApp group with a mum asking for help taking their kids to this party, but nothing else.

Would you ask the mum separately (in a really polite way!) or just sit this one out? They are year 1

Baffled by the people saying don't ask - most parties at age 6 are whole class, so one more child is not going to be an issue. Just speak to the parent and find out the situation - I would definitely advocate for my child rather than them being left out.

Depends on the type of party. If it’s a soft play type party where they actually have to give the numbers in advanced for them to get their nuggets and chips then I’d probably just sit it out. If it’s a hall/ bouncy castle type party where the numbers didn’t really matter as they will all just be running about then I’d maybe gently introduce myself and see if the mum takes the hint.

If I was the mum and there was one kid in the party who wasn’t invited because I didn’t realise they had just started after invites went out I would want the mum to say to me. It would break my heart to think an already new child was feeling left out and I would definitely make arrangements for them to come.

Nobody at that age would willingly leave a child out of a whole class party. A small party is obviously a different ball game. I would pop her a quick message saying you are new and your child was talking about the party, you completely understand if there is no space but you thought you would reach out to find out so you can manage your sons expectations accordingly.

I would feel the same & hate for a new DC to be left out just because I didn't know they'd joined.

If it's definitely a whole class party, then I would ask for an invitation but otherwise I'd introduce myself on the What's app group, like a pp said.

Yes, I would too. If it's definitely an all class party, it's clearly an oversight.

Please ASK. We held a party for my daughter
's core friends only (reception).. Everyone's new to the school. There is still movement, and new kids joining. If a parent asked I wouldn't turn them down if their kid heard and wanting to join. Also we just didn't know every family / not every parent is in the WhatsApp group. You / your child probably won't / may not see some of these people for the rest of your lives. Maybe they are not aware you joined recently , and you will be welcomed to the party. And if it's a no then, it's a no. If it's a no, it might hurt you. But at least you did ask for you kid. Best of luck x

My wee one has just started school and all the party invites have been through WhatsApp so far (for the full class)- if you have just joined you wont see old posts. Could you maybe ask another mum and just check if it was the full class invited?

At that stage all my son’s class mates had parties where they invited the whole class. I would have been mortified to realize I’d left someone out. I would discreetly find out if the whole class is invited and then speak to the mum and say that your child thinks they are invited so you just wanted to check but you obviously understand if it isn’t possible for them to come.

Of course not, but introduce yrself to the parent, if they wish to extend the invite they will.

No don't ask. It may be a slip up from the other mum mentioning it in a group chat and the mum hosting the party might already be feeling awkward if it's not a whole class party.
We have a chat group for my daughter's year group however there are two classes. One mum once posted in the group asking whether people would be comfortable with a certain activity and gave details of the address for whether people would be willing to travel...but then only invited children in one class (which is totally fair, who wants 60 kids turning up!). However it was a bit awkward for people who replied in the chat saying it sounded great to them realise it wasn't actually aimed at all children (invites must have been handed out on paper).
Definitely do as others have said and introduce yourself into the group and mention your child by name and how they look forward to getting to know their new classmates.

No way on this planet would I do this it would never cross my mind too

If you find out the whole class is invited, then I’d believe that having the whole class was the intention and missing out your dc was just a mistake, or the invitation was lost. In that case I’d risk asking.

There must be someone other than the party-mum you could ask. Who could hopefully approach her on your behalf.
Although you can't be invited to every party, at that age whole class ones seem pretty common and your dc is talking about it as if he's invited - I would risk some embarrassment to help him settle in with the new class.

This is great advice! The birthday boy/girl might have told your DC that they can come but not formalised it at home because kids aren't that organised 😂 Just ask and accept whatever answer is given and if it is a no because spaces at the party place were limited etc. do something else fun with your little one. It'll all blow over either way.

Introducing yourself on the whattup group is a great idea
“ hi I’m x mum to x in class x we have just moved here and looking forward to getting to know you all !

I have done this. My 6-year-old mentioned party several times, but no invitation had been forthcoming. It turned out he was invited, but the party kid just over excited and told everyone before the invitations went out.
On the other hand, we have had an occasion where a friend of my daughter was telling everybody in her class about a party, but it was just a family party...