8 month sleep regression

[FairRoseFox]

Since putting our daughter in her own room sleep has been terrible. It takes 5/6 attempts to settle her to sleep as she wakes every 15 mins unless held until about 11pm from around 8pm, and then wakes up throughout the night - she used to sleep through.

The advice I hear from the hv is don't pick up and instead soothe with face rub/pat then leave for a few mins and itll take a few days for her to get back to sleeping like before, however those things don't soothe her she just cries more so it feels wrong to leave at all. We end up patting and stroking for a few minutes and holding her- she normally sleeps instantly when picked up. Any tips or words of wisdom?

The rest of her night routine is identical to when she slept in our room however she did used to stay in the bassinet downstairs sleeping until we'd go up to bed. She also has the same night light, sleep bag and temperature is the same as our room.

What’s the naps like in the day?

What does the rest of the day look like, wake up , nap times and length?

@FairRoseFox

She naps usually 3x a day never longer than 30 min, and that's been the same since about 3 months. On the dot she pings awake even if in cot or car.

That’s probably the problem! You need to try get a long lunch time nap over an hour! The cat napping in the day always causes problem for my son !! He’s only 6 months but I have a 3 year old and once we focussed on a good routine and longer lunch nap it sorted out the night time

son is up at 7

breakfast at 8

nap at 9-9.3

lunch at 11.45

nap 12.15 - 2.15

Dinner at 5ish

bed at 7

at the beginning of starting the routine I just held him for the naps to make them longer

and moved on to the cot naps eventually once night sleep was better

We've now tried doing 2 longer naps by holding her during the day but now she won't sleep at night at all! It's now 3.30am and she's still wide awake crying unless picked up but as soon as put down cries. We're exhausted. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

Maybe drop the morning nap and go for an earlier single nap? 12-1.30 or 2?

it’s a hard age! I promise it does get better (I have a 3 year old who’s sleep nearly killed me!!)

is he going to sleep independently at night ?

I think the problem is the daytime naps.

I read somewhere that if you fix the naps, the nighttime sleep fixes itself.

She isn't getting enough sleep during the day.

I tried the 'wake-to-sleep' method (I think that's what it's called).

The idea is that if you know she's going to wake at X time, 5-10mins before that, you rouse her ever so slightly, so she resets herself. You can do this by rubbing her back, tickling her hand or anything. You just want her to stir and settle back down.

I used this method and my DD learnt to sleep for 90mins (2 x sleep cycles). It took a few days but it worked.

Once I sorted the daytime naps, her nighttime sleep got a lot better.

I will say that up until around 18 months, by the time you get used to a sleep pattern they hit another regression so take it a day at a time. Aim for 4 good sleep days out of 7; don't expect it to be perfect all the time.

DD is only just 19 months and only recently starting to sleep really well at night with one long daytime nap.

You'll get there x

Cosleep. We have put the cot beside our bed with 1 side off, and with mattress on the slats on the floor they're the same height, so it's like an extension of our bed.
I went through all this with my eldest now 2.5, battling for months from 7m to get him to sleep in the cot at night. I was completely exhausted, he was awake for hours. Nap changes, bedtime routine, milk downstairs, milk upstairs, picking up, not picking up, shushing, books, blogs, you name it I was obsessed and desperate. Eventually at 14 months with me pregnant and exhausted, we started having him share the spare double with a parent and oh my word it was a miracle. He slept so much better and even if he did wake, we could be half dozing whilst he was grumbling and wriggling and he'd fall asleep when he was ready. The guilt I felt when it clicked that all he needed was a parent beside him and all those months I'd been tying myself in knots and essentially restricting access to parental comfort.
Hence from night 2 with youngest now 9m we have coslept. I honestly can't go through all that again. She naps for however long she wants, also usually waking on the dot at 30 mins until about a month ago when it randomly changed. I don't interfere with naps, basically - I don't wake her but I do provide the opportunity for her to sleep when she looks tired eg sling/car/buggy.
She might nap 8.30-9, 12-2, 4.30-5, next day 10-11, 1-1.30, 6.30-6.40, next day 9-9.45, 11.45-1, 4-5. Bedtime is anywhere from 7.30-9 depending how late last nap was. All depends on what we're doing that day. So liberating the feeling of letting go after I was so fussy about eldest's naps!

Is she teething? She's clearly looking for comfort as she settles when held, so I would check she's not teething or otherwise unwell. I would try giving pain relief at bedtime as a one off test and see if that helps. When at that age, both of mine would be very unsettled if there were teeth moving around (they can be in pain with teething before they break through so it's sometimes hard to tell).

If it's not pain related there's clearly something she's missing now she's on her own (you mention she's no longer falling asleep downstairs with you or in your room). Would you consider moving her back into your room? Maybe she's just a lot more aware of you than you realise when she's sleeping and right now she needs that comfort and reassurance? I'm a big fan of doing whatever it takes to get everyone the most sleep, so if she sleeps better in your room, I would be moving her back