My son is nearly 6 and a half and has struggled on and off with behaviour since he started school.
In reception he would lash out when upset and hit or push others at times.
In year 1 and 2 this has greatly reduced and he doesn't hit anymore. He does however get overwhelmed at times and will shout and become very angry (fists in balls, tense) which is meaning he is having time out or going to another classroom fairly often.
It's not consistent - he had a fabulous last half term of year 1 and first of year 2 but since half term break has gone back with behaviour (shouting and getting upset, not physical). He's also started defaulting to saying "I'm useless, nobody likes me" etc as soon as he is told off.
We have worked closely with the school and the following have been tried:
- Sticker charts broken down into sessions in the school day - this was going so well we had been able to stop it.
- allowing him to leave the classroom when he is feeling overwhelmed - mixed success as he does go and will regulate very quickly (can tell teacher why he was upset, good insight and communication), but doesn't stop the angry outburst preceding leaving the room.
- ear defenders - these are still used, he said when the class is noisy (big trigger) it hurts his ears. This is not in all environments, it seems to be when he is concentrating. We also had his hearing checked which is fine.
- some therapeutic sessions to help him understand emotions and help him manage them (the therapist did 6 sessions and basically said he was a delight and wouldn't have met the criteria by the time the therapy started).
School are also going to try sensory circuits.
He has a lovely home environment and is an only child, his dad and I have a good relationship and don't argue. Ds is very academically able and doing brilliantly in all of his subjects. He is eloquent, social (has loads of friends) and very loving/ kind. He has a loving extended family who praise him and highlight his strengths. He is genuinely a wonderful child to be around bar the above and is so creative and funny. No issues with concentration when it's something he enjoys.
He is quick to get annoyed at home but not in the way it happens at school - nothing I would say is our of norm for his age. He doesn't like talking about school incidents at home so I dont push it, but do tell him I only ask so I can understand how I might be able to help him, not because he is in trouble.
I know ND is going to be suggested (school do not think there is but are happy to support if desired, the wait lists are 3 years here) and I could probably be convinced there might be something but I'm not clear on what would be achieved in seeking a diagnosis - there is already support with school (his teacher is fabulous) and our (reasonable) expectations wouldn't change if there was a "cause" - he still needs to be supported to regulate his emotions regardless. Maybe there's some art or play therapy we would be eligible for?
Has anyone else parented a similar child and what helped? He's such a beautiful little soul and I know long term he will be fine, but I don't want his memory or schooling to be being in "trouble" or for him to feel he is not good enough - he already says in reception he was naughty (not language we have used) and now his is "better - half between good and bad"