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At my WITS END with my 1 year olds sleep

3 replies

Porterpenguin · 11/11/2024 23:36

I honestly don’t know what’s going on with my 1 year old. His sleep is absolutely terrible. His sleep has never been amazing but I’d say he slept better as a younger baby than he does now! We have a 2.5 year old too and their evening routine is good I think, they have tea together, bit of play time, shared bath, bed time with warm milk . Toddler is amazing but Baby really fights his sleep and smacks my face, pushes me away, screams, but he’ll do all this while drifting in and out of sleep so I know he’s shattered. He won’t settle for DH at all despite trying. He’s normally in his bedroom asleep by 7.45/8pm. He then manages a couple of hours sleep in his cot (best he’s ever got to is midnight) then shit hits the fan. He screams the house down until I go into get him. If my DH goes in he just screams louder until it’s me who’s holding him. I don’t know why he won’t settle for DH as my DH has always been very hands on with both of them since birth, I didn’t breast feed so he shared a lot of the night feeds with me. He plays with them both for hours on end. But the baby just does not want to be comforted by him at night time. So it always has to be me and it’s exhausting. The only time he will settle is when he’s in our bed but DH always ends up on the edge with literally 1 inch of room and the other night he actually had to put his pillow on the bedside table 😑 I can never rest with him in our bed as my cousins baby died as a result of a bed sharing accident which is absolutely devastating.
so when he is in our bed I can never sleep properly. We have no spare bedroom.

what on earth do I do. I am knackered. My toddler went through lots of phases with sleep but never this bad. I remember my oldest really settled by 20 months and now is a great sleeper.
i did gentle sleep training with my oldest but I just don’t think it would work for my youngest as his screams are next level. Sometimes he gets so upset he’s nearly sick. Leaving him to cry out just isn’t an option for me

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Spiderweb13 · 12/11/2024 22:05

What are his day time naps like? You may see an improvement by making slight adjustments to the time and length of his naps. I used the huckleberry app with my first and realised he was napping too close to bedtime. Once I changed this, I saw a drastic difference!

climb12sides · 12/11/2024 22:26

What age of 1 year old? It sounds like separation anxiety - some kids just need to be close, and he rages at bedtime as he knows he's about to be alone. I know you worry about co-sleeping but it can be done safely, especially with a mobile 1 year old.

Is his cot in your room, or does he have his own room? Can a double mattress go on the floor so you can sleep with him some of the night? My eldest was like this, and I just had to ride it out and be with him when he needed me, as it was the only way I got enough sleep (my youngest is much more independent - just personality / luck of the draw).

I'm sorry you're going through it - the tiredness is soul destroying

CasaMundi · 12/11/2024 22:30

If you don't think sleep training would be a useful option, you could consider putting a floor bed in his room. You might find he sleeps better when he's got more room, though I suspect it's unlikely. When he wakes you can lie with him to settle him, then you have the option of sleeping there with him or rolling away and getting back into bed with hubby.

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