10 months - baby only breastfeeds to sleep

[RainRainbow]

Details:10 month old baby who is breastfed alongside solids. Never been a good sleeper. Feed to sleep as this is the only thing that we’ve found that works. If we put down before sleep baby gets very distressed. Rocking no longer works. Not wanting to try cry methods. Refuses bottle.

I am just wondering if anyone has had any similar situations where you’re further down the line please? When did your baby start to self soothe? I feel at this point he’s going to want to breastfeed forever and I am dreading starting back work. I am ok about breastfeeding for longer and not in a rush to stop but at the same
time I don’t know how long this will tend to go on for. On a good night he wakes for a feed every 2/3 hour and on a worse night it can be every hour (and sometimes a less than this!)

Something I've found is they do different things for different people. If it's me trying to get them to sleep it has to be boob. If it's DH, a bottle and rocking or putting them in the carrier works. At nursery apparently DS would take himself off to bed for a nap (definitely didn't do that at home, he'd just fight it.) I think he was doing this from about 2 but they certainly always got him to have a nap there from when he started aged 1.

Have you/can you try someone else doing bedtime while you are out of sight, or maybe even just out of the house? I remember worrying about the first work pub trip because DS had never gone to sleep at night without me, DH got I'm down earlier than usual!

Hello, I have done this two times already.
I went back to work at around the year mark and continued BF for a while with both.
Not sure what you're specific question is, but you'll be ok!
It's absolutely normal for babies to want to feed to sleep and continue feeding. Both of my babies wanted to. At the same time, they're flexible and will get used to not having milk if it's not an option. They started drinking milk and sleeping at the nursery when they didn't have the option. My youngest is just 18 months and still loves to feed to sleep. My older one was the same, I think she significantly improved at 2 year old mark and now sleeps great without any issues and we've never done any sleep training.
What's your main concern? Napping at the nursery? Having someone else do the bedtime for you? Wanting better sleep?
For nursery, let them handle it, they will get your baby to nap. For bedtime, once you need to, baby will have to get used to it, just leave the house! Interrupted sleep sucks so bad, it will get better for sure. You could try cutting night feeds - I did once I went back, but to be honest, it didn't improve sleep.

Thank you for replying both of you.

My main concern is am I doing something wrong? I have sorted daytimes out where I can leave him for a little while but bedtimes just feel like they aren’t improving so I was wondering if I continue feeding to sleep is there any light at the end of the tunnel sleepwise or do I need to make a change somewhere. I haven’t got anyone that is having a similar experience and the only person I know who is BF their baby explained to me that the baby is showing signs of weaning at night now and can self settle. I know comparing isn’t the best thing to do but my baby isn’t anywhere near this at the moment. I worry about work due to the lack of sleep!

So yes any stories where anyone has even through this and got to the other side are really helpful. Any tips are also really appreciated.

You aren’t doing anything wrong
its totally normal and fine
baby will grow out of it! Stop worrying and enjoy x

Thank you for this, it’s reassuring! This is something to think about and keep revisiting. I did a little try of this last week with a grandparent but they ending up messaging for me to come over by a certain point as couldn’t get him to stop crying as nothing would work but he is teething so could try it again. Like you say he might just suprise us at some point then with a bit more practice or time.

Ok now I’ve stated to cry (in a good way!) thank you, means a lot. I will re-read these lovely posts again especially when I’m over thinking things xxxx

Don’t cry!! Be happy, enjoy baby as much as you can. I have 3, and wish someone had told me everything is all good when my first was tiny x

You can do the thing where you break the latch before he's quite asleep. Let him latch again if he fusses but then break latch again as he's about to drop off. And keep repeating until he falls asleep without nipple in mouth. A bit of a challenge if you're feeding half asleep yourself.

I was like you at 10 months and then at 13 when nothing had changed but I was working with a commute, we did do sleep training. I'm not trying to persuade you to do that if you don't want, but I will say it taught me sleep is about associations.

The baby things he needs a nipple in mouth to sleep because that's how he's always done it. No nipple, no sleep just like you really need pyjamas, toothbrushing, bed and duvet etc to sleep.

Sleep training teaches them that instead of mum-milk-sucking-sleep they can go cuddle-cot-song-sleep or whatever. You can move in that direction without doing actual sleep training by having a routine, teddy, same song every night etc.

If the question is when your baby will of his own accord decide he doesn't want to feed to sleep - it could be some time, as I say I got to 13 months and didn't feel safe driving to work. Three nights and we were done, unpleasant nights but after that DC would be happy going in cot.

You're not doing anything wrong. Keep doing what you doing. I fed to sleep my son and he did outgrow it. Think around 13 months xx

You're doing amazing! They say the more a baby is comforted and loved the more secure their attachment will be so there's nothing wrong with feeding to sleep :) My 8 month old had only fed to sleep until she was 7 months. Unfortunately at that point I had to stop breastfeeding overnight due to needing to take medication that wasn't safe for breastfeeding. Tears were shed all round! The first 3 days were really hard and at times I had to distance myself as baby was just getting more distressed if I was around. But eventually she'd get tired enough to fall asleep in her dad's arms and after those first few days she adjusted amazingly well and was completely back to her happy self. I was just like you before I had to stop and used to wonder if I was setting her up for bad sleep habits but now I realise it's only a short phase in the scheme of things and feeding to sleep is such a precious thing to be able to do. Hoping to go back to it when I'm off these meds! In your case I'd enjoy it while you're able to and rest assured that your little one will grow out of it in time :)