Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Please be kind- just got pregnant and wasn't expecting it at all as I have just been referred to fertility clinic

8 replies

Justpregnant2024 · 10/11/2024 18:37

Please be kind, I just tested positive for pregnancy and am elated but my head is in a whirl..

I am 32, DH is 34. We have been married for 9 years and own a small 2 bed flat in London (mortgage 1282). We have been married for 9 years and were using withdrawal for 8 out of 9 years. Started ttc in August 2023, no results. Underwent investigations and referred to fertility clinic.

During that time DH faced a lot of stress/politics at work and his job doesn't feel stable, he has been job searching but he still has his job, it pays £75k per annum and he gets 4071 after tax. He has also been signed off sick for stress following an occupational health review suggested by HR (history of childhood epilepsy)

We have savings of 57k in total (though 27k are in savings account in my home country).ĺ

Unfortunately 3 weeks ago I was made redundant with 3 months notice pay , it was a shock to me but I have been job searching with some interviews. Previously was on 46k so my pay out was over 9k. We can live on DH's current salary without dipping into savings though it feels scary at the moment.

Anyway by that point I was under investigations and had been having virtually unprotected sex for 9 years with no baby.

I find out now I am pregnant. I understand I can still get a job and don't need to disclose that I am pregnant, how can I claim maternity allowance. I think it's a bit of a miracle and it's strange I have been trying so hard but only got pregnant once I am off work. Perhaps it was the stress.

If any mumsnetters have been in a similar situation any advice would be great.

Another minor issue is that my second bedroom has small caged pets in it (they are around 2 years old and 3 months and they have a lifespan of 3-4 years).. do I need to give them up. I think I could downsize their massive 1.5m cage to a 1 m cage and fit in a baby changing table (there is a single bed in the room plus my desk which dh is unwilling to get rid of). I guess cot would go in our room we have a space for that and think about what to do once baby needs their own rook which would be 15 months from now at least. As to why I designed my living space this way, well they were rescue pets and I wasnt ttc then plus was unsure of how long it would take (plus had suspicions of infertility).

OP posts:
Autizzy · 10/11/2024 18:40

The baby can stay in with you until your 2nd bedroom is free, you don't need to get rid of your pets.

Congratulations

Spagettifunctional · 10/11/2024 18:45

Absolutely over the moon for you op ! It will work out - it absolutely may have been stress related. This seems daunting as you were not expecting it but it will all work out !!

get job hunting pronto

mindutopia · 10/11/2024 19:10

Congrats! You will be absolutely fine. When we had our first, Dh was earning £18k a year (12 years ago) and I was a postgraduate student and part-time self employed, so got mat allowance. We did fine. Babies only get expensive when you go back to work and need childcare, but by then, you should be earning again. I would just get yourself a job, any job now, to make sure you have enough qualifying weeks. Bank your redundancy pay for later.

Sometimes magical things happen. I have a friend who did 10 years of various fertility treatments, had a late (20 week) loss, finally got pregnant with IVF, and then 8 weeks after her first was born, had a completely unexpected natural pregnancy with her 2nd. Sometimes these things just happen.

Your pets will be fine. We didn’t use our nursery for anything other than storage for at least the first 12-18 months. And our dc mostly slept with us til 3.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

freddyfluffball · 10/11/2024 19:13

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I earn the same as your husband and mortgage/bills at that level would be affordable especially if savings to dip into. I feel he needs to get back to work though, how are his workplace supporting him with a phased return etc?

Justpregnant2024 · 10/11/2024 19:16

mindutopia · 10/11/2024 19:10

Congrats! You will be absolutely fine. When we had our first, Dh was earning £18k a year (12 years ago) and I was a postgraduate student and part-time self employed, so got mat allowance. We did fine. Babies only get expensive when you go back to work and need childcare, but by then, you should be earning again. I would just get yourself a job, any job now, to make sure you have enough qualifying weeks. Bank your redundancy pay for later.

Sometimes magical things happen. I have a friend who did 10 years of various fertility treatments, had a late (20 week) loss, finally got pregnant with IVF, and then 8 weeks after her first was born, had a completely unexpected natural pregnancy with her 2nd. Sometimes these things just happen.

Your pets will be fine. We didn’t use our nursery for anything other than storage for at least the first 12-18 months. And our dc mostly slept with us til 3.

Wouldn't it be too late anyway as you need to start 1 week before your pregnancy. I am 2 to 3 weeks pregnant.

At least if job was higher paying, I can save more money.

OP posts:
Justpregnant2024 · 10/11/2024 19:18

freddyfluffball · 10/11/2024 19:13

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I earn the same as your husband and mortgage/bills at that level would be affordable especially if savings to dip into. I feel he needs to get back to work though, how are his workplace supporting him with a phased return etc?

They haven't given details yet as OH has signed him off until next month. He is still getting full pay though that runs out after 5 months.

OP posts:
Zoomo · 10/11/2024 19:30

Congratulations! 💐

Justpregnant2024 · 10/11/2024 19:40

Would it be too late to register for childcare (in London) once I have a job? I know from friends places run out very fast and you basically have to register them as a foetus

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread