Mornings with two toddlers are getting to me

[LoathlyLady]

I have two beautiful sweet boys, 18 months and nearly 4 (ETA clearly not a toddler anymore - but feels like it this morning)

Every morning little one wakes up before dawn and needs to be treated with kid gloves or he will kick off. Pink bowl, blue spoon, must sit in my lap but doesn’t want me to touch anything, god forbid I try to change him before he eats even if he’s dirty - hell to pay. And then big brother comes down and I have to get his breakfast together while holding LO who won’t be put down. Even after eating they’re clingy, fighting over who can hug me, screaming and whining if I don’t hold their hands and play with them. It’s usually a couple of hours before partner comes down and I can have a glass of water and use the toilet.

They’re incredibly sweet kids and in amongst all of this we have lots of kissing, cuddling, laughing, dancing. The older one loves to help out little one adores his big brother. But I sometimes feel like its just too much, I imagine other toddlers sitting in their high chair at breakfast time eating some berries out of a wooden bowl while mum makes coffee.. is this just pure fantasy?

Can partner take turns with you?

Kindly - the world won't end if they scream a bit, or a lot. Set up a simple morning routine:
Out of bed/cot
Downstairs
Into living room for five minutes while mum makes simple breakfast
Eat breakfast
Nappy change
Brush teeth
TV

Or whatever. And then stick to it. "I'm going to put you down now, because I need to go make breakfast. I'll call you when it's ready." And slowly extend the time. They may kick off. It's fine. They'll learn.

The blue/pink/whatever stuff - either put two spoons and bowls out for each and let them choose for both or buy a few of the same spoons and bowls and declare that those are the breakfast spoons now.

Sincerely,
Mum to toddler twins + 5 yo

This in spades.

You need to stop pandering to all of that or you will make a rod for yourself. Our youngest are twins2 and single 3 and we don't have anything like that at all. We all get up wander downstairs, nappy changes,clothes on then we sit at the table toast or cereal and chatter and then dishes and playtime or park or garden. From day one they know this is what you get bowl spoon doesn't matter if it's Peppa or Spiderman it's food on it and eat it lol

And I do it all myself as hubby away to work from 4:30 am and older kids to school

Wow.. did you guys have to deal with a lot of tantrums to get to this level of compliance? I tried to be firmer when LO was little but he would climb out of his high chair and throw food around. It didn’t even come off as naughty, just like he was too hungry and tired to manage.. but now he is old enough and I feel like I’m stuck

@LoathlyLady don't have any advice to add, except that my DD1 was like that in the mornings when she was younger- like a bomb that was about to go off. I pandered to her so much, as I felt it just wasn't worth the hassle otherwise. Thankfully, she grew out of that behaviour from around age 2 / 2.5. Now she is almost 4 and we have a 6 month old baby and things are easier (for now). It's difficult to know whether to keep pandering or put your foot down a bit. However tantrums at 6am are not a great way to start the day...

You just keep at it. ....how did he climb out strapped in?

Neither of mine were in a highchair at 18mo. Because they would drag a stool or chair across the floor and climb in! (Would also climb out if not strapped in). We ended up buying a kids table from IKEA to eat at.

Anyway, I get it. 530am is our usual wake time and everyone is like "go to bed earlier" and "get up before your child". Some kids are early risers and as a parent you do what you can to not have tantrums first thing.