Is there any literature which recommends punishment based parenting?

[unlikelychump]

Dh thinks we need to remove more privileges and be harsher to our children to get them to argue, shout and fight with each other less.

I have asked him to point me at a credible source which recommends this sort of approach. I am just wondering if there is one. (Yes there is a backstory, so you have kick me for a dripfeed later, if anyone has replied)

Oh bertie yes please write the book!
I'll look up the possibles you mention too and the YouTube etc.

I see loads of great advice.

A very simple one for me is whether we are expecting children to behave better than adults.

When someone shouts and threatens someone else, that is bullying. It doesn’t become ok because the shouter is a parent. You don’t get to bully your children into good behaviour- what happens when they are bigger and louder than you?

Often I see adults demanding children be respectful- apologise, never interrupt… while behaving worse themselves.

I believe the adult needs to model the best behaviour, showing the child how to deal with challenges. Often adults will behave towards family members in ways that would get them sacked at work.

Those kinds of very simple reframing of adult behaviour may be helpful. With DH I found it better to have the conversations at a different time, and draw parallels with previous situations, rather than tackling it when it’s already started.