DS (21 months) is refusing to settle in his cot, help!

[Gigi00]

DS 21 months, until a few weeks ago would go to bed easily, sometimes he would cry but he would settle himself in a few minutes mostly.

Now he tries to cling into my arms and screams if i put him into his cot. If i walk out of the room in hope he settles (no longer than a minute ) he will vomit up his milk he has just had.

Im not sure where to go with this as i cant get him to settle on his own if he is making himself vomit.

I have tried all the usual approaches of me being in the room, he wont even get in there without a fight and screaming.

The only way he will now go to sleep is by me holding him in my arms to sleep and transferring him into his cot. Sometimes this doesn't work and i lay him doing in my bed and transfer. I feel like I'm creating bad habits by doing this.

He also used to sleep through but is also now waking at night and again refusing the cot at night, it's taking me hours to settle him again and transferring. Im exhausted.

FYI at nap time we don't have this issue, he lays down in his cot and sleeps without an issue.

Any advice on how i could tackle this?!

Anyone?

Might sound mad but is the cot big enough for him? By 22mth DD was in a single bed. She just needed more room.

Do they need milk at night?

@AgathaMystery Yeah it's a cot bed and he has plenty of room! Ideally i want him to stay in his cot for the time being

@crumblingschools
He does have milk at bedtime and sometimes if he wakes during the night and wont settle.

Are you me?! I could have written this exact post myself tonight. DS 23 months and has just started being very clingy like this. Usually a dream falling asleep by himself but all of a sudden wants constant cuddles and doesn't want me to leave his room. I assume it's some kind of separation anxiety, and I think I read somewhere that they start to get fears of the dark etc around this age. I also don't want to get into bad habits but want him to feel safe and happy when he falls asleep, it's tricky 😕

Do they have night lights?

What are the daytime naps like?

It's a long time since mine were this small but I remember the midwife suggesting that we used the bedroom to play in or read in during the day so that they didn't just associate it as somewhere where they would be left alone. Might this help ?

@diggermama its so difficult isn't it! I also feel like mine is separate anxiety! But unsure how to resolve it

@crumblingschools he doesn't have a night light in his room, do you think i should try this?

@AgathaMystery he naps at nursery for around 1-1.5 hours and at home in the cot (we have no issues with the cot for naps) for around 2 hours!

I can't work out why its only bedtime we have the cot issue, my main suspicion is separation anxiety

I would try restricting the nap to 45 minutes.

I wouldn't leave him to cry

@RandomMess there have been short naps like this at nursery where it hasn't yet made a difference! (Sometimes but not often but there are days the nap is 30 mins or so)

I agree about not leaving him to cry, which is how iv got myself into this situation of laying him in my bed!!