Hi everyone,
I thought I would come on here for some experience and advice as I’m a first time Mum and I’m struggling with big anxities around my 5 year old DD and her school relationships.
My daughter been at her school since reception. She is happy at school and says she always has someone to play with but my concern is she hasn’t really got any close good friends, even though she may think she has.
When ever we are in parties or get togethers she always seems on the outside. All the other girls tend to flock to one another, calling out each others names on arrival and sticking together, it breaks my heart that no one ever calls out for my DD. She’s been on a few play dates but dosnt get asked regularly and it seems she may of only been asked as I asked their children first. She’s starting to notice this as other girls in the class are constantly. I also know there’s been things over half terms where girls have met up but she never gets asked. Only if it’s a group meet and this is as I know the mums!
She did have a good relationship with one little girl which I thought was going really well but the last few weeks another little girl has come into the equation which has pushed my DD out, now the little girl blows really hot and cold with mine. Last party we went to she barely acknowledged her and when she did she was quite unkind, which was horrible to witness.
I’ve tried to encourage her to find more friends but she just says but they only play with this person or she only plays with this one. I’ve tried explaining anyone can join in but to be honest she is right. When I’ve witnessed the class together they do tend to stick to their “best friend” or group they’ve made.
She says no one is unkind to her or says she can’t play but it’s so upsetting seeing her shunned or only wanted when the little girls other friends aren’t available. I don’t think she notices this much but it’s quite obvious on times for me.
She’s a lovely little girl, really chatty, imaginative and loves everyone! Really happy go luck personality, extrovert! I don’t really know what’s going wrong for her!
She’s in a class where a few parents are really good friends. So do things outside of school. Even though I get on with the parents and I’m not really that close with them. I don’t know if this makes a difference really as the kids have kind of forged their own relationships outside of the parents, it’s just no one looks at mine as “first choice” It’s like she’s just kind if there but wouldn’t matter if she wasn’t. It’s really breaking my heart to think what’s happening when I’m not there at school.
I’ve spoken to the teacher in reception and also her current one and they just say “she’s fine and gets along with everyone”
If anyone who been through these early stage friendships is happy to comment I’d really appreciate it! I’m a single mum with no little ones in my family so no body I can ask for advice really!