Parenting 18 months old

[raindropsrain]

Little one goes to nursery while both dad and I work quite demanding full time jobs. We also don’t have any family around so they are enrolled full time in nursery but we don’t send if we are on a day off (I am a shift worker).

I think DC loves it at nursery and smiles at drop off - never cries at drop off or pick up but reaches to hold me at pick up and we spend lots of quality time together after nursery and weekends. DC also co-sleeps (wouldn’t go to own bed) so we just manage nights that way and at least I get to hold DC at night time so it kind of makes up for not seeing them during the working day.

The last week in the mornings when we don’t go to nursery, I’ve found DC crying, dragging us to the car. I was confused initially but I think DC wants to go to nursery! Most kids I know hates going! At nursery, DC eats really well (nice round belly coming home, good weight) but at home, they are more fussy around food. Just wondering if this is all normal behaviour?

I am thinking about cutting back on work to spend more time with my baby as I really miss DC when they go to nursery. It does sound like DC is managing really well but I am still having attachment issues!!

Gently, your little one probably does miss nursery and the routine of it and their key worker. They spend most of the waking hours with them in that environment so they feel secure there. Which is great. But if you are missing them too and can afford to I'd absolutely cut back on working hours to have more awake time with them.

Your child is happy and settled in nursery, and doesn’t have the capacity yet to understand that sometimes the routine changes. This is all fine and normal. Gently, the issue is your guilt. She is fine, leave her as she is and enjoy your downtime together at weekends.

I wouldn’t worry about it and anyway I don’t think they “want” to go to nursery, they are just used to the routine of going and probably confused why they aren’t. It’s much easier to have a child that enjoys going to nursery than one that doesn’t! I’ve had both - one would cry at drop off all the time, and the second was mostly happy at drop off and I felt much better leaving the second than the first. When they get a bit older and can start communicating I bet they’ll start to tell you that they prefer staying at home with you on the weekends. My DCs also both ate much better at nursery than at home. Totally normal ime! I also had a lot of time to spend with mine after nursery as I didn’t mind if they had a 2 hour nap and then stayed up later so we could all spend family time together before bed. If you want to reduce your hours then do, but no need to feel guilty just because they are happy to go to nursery.