Sorry, I know this question has been asked so many times but I feel I need an outlet to write down my thoughts. I have 2 DC- DD 4 years and DS 22 months. I always thought I’d have two and maybe three maximum. I fell pregnant in March which unfortunately ended in miscarriage. Me and DH were happy when we thought we were having a third but also anxious about all of the practicalities. After the miscarriage, we said that if we had a bigger house and car etc then we would like a third.
fast forward and we are currently about to put our house on the market and (fingers crossed) are aiming to make an offer on a 4 bed that would give the space we have been looking for. We would want this house regardless of whether or not we have another child so that isn’t actually a factor in the purchase. After having DS I was desperately broody and felt overwhelmed by the thought of having another. It seemed to occupy the majority of my thoughts and I found it quite hard as I just wanted to focus on the present and my little baby instead of hoping for another. So it now feels like we’re (almost) at a stage where my dream of having another could be quite feasible.
However, I have also been contemplating my career. My plan had always been to get into teaching but I decided against it when I had the opportunity a few years ago (big mistake!). I have been considering doing my teacher training beginning September 2026. This would mean that I’d be qualified just before DS starts school. I wouldn’t want to do the course earlier as I would prefer not to do anything full time until DS is a bit older. I feel that I really want this career change and the financial aspect is very appealing. I currently work in a part time administration role which is very monotonous and poorly paid. I want us to be able to afford holidays and a comfortable lifestyle.
I just feel like I’m at a cross roads where we need to decide which direction to take. It’s third child vs career in my head. I am aware that I could have a child a bit later on (I am 30 and DH is 31) but the idea of a bigger age gap has never appealed and I am worried that it would be hard going back to the baby years and that when the older two are grown up we’ll still have the younger one at home and this would limit our freedom. But I also wonder whether I should prioritise the baby and have closer gaps between all three and then focus on my career when the youngest is closer to school age. But then I think that I’d be delaying my career by another few years which would make it harder to get into.
the other option is to be happy with the two children I have and look forward to the next stage of life. I wish I could just tell my brain to settle down and focus on the present instead of worrying about all these possibilities.