I just wanted to share this sentiment to anyone who needs to hear it.
After having a terrible first year of
motherhood with what felt like the world’s most miserable baby, I can now say it is much better aged 17 months and even before this time. From 1 it has slowly gotten better.
I trawled and posted on MN to find solidarity in anyone that had a persistently miserable baby. A baby who hated all strangers, hated baby groups, hated soft play/exploring, hated car rides, hated going out in the pushchair, hated going anywhere… the list goes on.
I was at rock bottom, barely able to leave the house. None of my friends had the same experience and every baby I saw looked content. She also wasn’t much of an eater and wasn’t really doing many gestures that were ‘expected’.
I went back to work at 1 year and instantly felt like a person again, this really helped me. It stopped me obsessing over milestones and talk about things/take my mind off of everything. Highly recommend!
Baby has slowly improved and now explores parks/ soft play without being glued to me and crying entering the doorway of anywhere new. She can communicate more (albeit just pointing and head shakes) and tell us what she wants and actually has a sense of humour and can play fun games together.
I found the elders always telling me ‘just you wait, it gets harder’ whilst I was in a dark, dark hole of misery just further impounded my depression and removed any hope I had of enjoying life again. Anyone who’s had a high needs/ difficult baby like mine, please don’t believe those comments.
The epic tantrums and mobile, runaway baby into everything are absolutely a walk in the park in comparison to the dark days of having an inherently miserable baby.
I hope this helps anyone in the trenches right now. I want to make it a life mission to stop the ‘enjoy every minute’ advice given to new parents and the ‘just you wait’ comments.