3/4 year old's behaviour

[SereneDeer]

My son is 3, almost 4, and over the past few months his behaviour has gotten increasingly worse. We probably had it quite easy as he never really had full blown tantrums, was quite easy to distract and although a bit shy, has always been a very loving and happy little boy. He still is all those things for the most part but when something doesn't go his way he will screech, hit out, and shout things like 'I want it RIGHT NOW'. And he won't give up.

I can take all that when it's towards me and his dad, as I know it's just part of his development but he's started being like this with his grandparents too. Who I can tell are now almost a bit wary of him like he's a ticking time bomb and that upsets me. He has a younger sister who is 1, so is very cute, friendly and I feel like people have started to focus on her a lot more because she is so much more friendly towards them. Whereas my son has started ignoring people when they arrive at our house, until he decides he wants to tell them something about what he's playing with. He says things like 'I don't WANT you to take me to nursery' to them and it does break my heart a bit because I know how much they love him and I feel like he's rejecting them a lot at the moment. Is this normal behaviour?

Maybe I'm just overthinking it and I'm definitely a people pleaser myself so maybe that's why it bothers me so much when he's not nice. They've never mentioned it but he is the first grandchild so I have nothing to compare it to. I'm worried they'll start to secretly dislike my son.

Bright and breezy but also firm. "Granny and grandad are taking you to nursery today." Then ignore. If he wants to fight that then he can but it's not changing the outcome. Don't dance around him or show him that you're at all bothered by his behaviour. I adopt an air of "well aren't you acting ridiculous" and breeze right past it.

Sometimes you need a bit of hustle about you and to exude a vibe of "I'm completely unfazed by this childish nonsense."

He'll be picking up that people are acting afraid of him. Don't let that happen.

When he's calm give him all the good stuff. Business like when he's being a little bugger, happy and chatty and engaging when he's calm and behaving well.

Hey @SereneDeer oh it's really tough but it could be part and parcel of normal development at three (I heard this stage described as threenagers so you get the picture). Does he go to nursery or playgroups? Being around other children his own age might help him socialise and self-regulate. It does sound like he's competing for attention from his younger sister. At three/four he would become increasingly aware that he is a separate entity from you all and with that, most kids at this stage don't have the verbal abilities to express themselves and so get frustrated. My son was similar but grew out of it by Reception class. I would say you can definitely be firm with him and let him know it's not okay to act this way.