Is there a right age to have your first baby?

[AdelineKing]

Myself and my husband have been married for a year, have been together just shy of 10 years, we both have great stable jobs and we have lived together in our house for 3 years now. We feel ready to have a baby but worry that we will get judged as we are ‘only’ 27 and not 30 as I know that 30 is now the average age of first time parents in the UK.

I know it might not happen straight away but does age really matter if we are stable in life and feel ready to be parents? Is 27 really too young or am I just being silly in doubting it?

Had my first at 27 and second at 30. Perfect for me! Didn’t seem usually young

I think the average is actually older than 30 now. But who cares? Do it when you're ready. I wouldn't say 27 is unusually young. I got pregnant at 30 and gave birth at 31 with my first. Now 34 and hoping for a second!

Sadly you will find that some people will judge mothers and mothers-to-be on anything and everything.

Do what’s right for you and your husband, it sounds like you’re in a good position to have a baby so I’d go for it.

The best age is when you are ready for it. You are younger than the current average... but the average couple don't meet at 17. So you are ready earlier.

DH and I were 25&27 when DD1 was born, and 26&29 when DD2 was born. It was right for us.

I was 26 (and was so unprepared!) but looking back this was the perfect time for us. I now have a late teen and mid teen and being mid 40’s I’m so pleased I’m not chasing a toddler (like my DB and DSIL! Although they’d say it was best for them to wait as they are well travelled, music festivals, endless gigs and just enjoying each other before DN came along)

What I’m trying to say is that it’s different for everyone….you do you! Whatever age you are - there will be pros and cons so go with works best for you and you DP x

Good Luck!

We started to try for a baby at 27, I felt the same... should I wait until I am 30 🤔 Unfortunately, we have been trying to conceive for 8 years with no joy! Now I am 35 and wish that I had started to try earlier than 27 😩

If you both are ready, don't wait. You never know how long it takes to finally be holding your baby on your arms.

I know it's below the average age but I wouldn't say 27 is young at all. I know a lot of people who had their first baby in their late twenties. I had my first at 28 and second at 31. My partner and I had a house, stable jobs, savings etc so it made sense.

I think the right age is when you’ve had a wild ride in life and are ready to settle down to a quieter pace. I don’t think owning a home or getting a promotion is all that important. Dh and I didn’t own a house when we had our first. Actually, we rented probably another 9 years and bought our forever home. We started a business and I got a PhD after our first was born too.

What I am grateful we did before is have a lot of fun. We lived abroad. We backpacked around Asia. We ate at lots of nice restaurants and stayed up late and spent lots of time on hobbies and things we loved. We had fun with friends. We camped and hiked. We just lived our best lives. And then we kinda felt like we’d done everything we wanted to do in that phase of life and were ready for life to be different for another decade or so. I think that’s how you know you’re ready. Fwiw dh and I were 25 and 31 when we had our first.

I was 24 when I got pregnant and it was a good age for me. I’d wanted to be pregnant for years but waited until I was married and had a house with my DH. Some may think I was too young and judge but they don’t know me or my situation. Everyone is different.

I had my first at 26 and my 2nd a few months ago at 28. I didn’t feel too young but definitely received lots of raised eyebrows especially from London-based colleagues however I think it’s a normal age to be settled and having children in other areas. Unfortunately motherhood comes with a lot of judgements/unwanted opinions whatever choices you make. If you feel ready then just go for it!

The right time is the right time for you, be it 25 or 45.

Thank you everyone! I have wanted children for ages but getting married and sorting myself out (had a few health complaints in the past) became the priority. Now it seems like nothing is in the way. I think I am just worried as my SIL was 18 when she had her first and was heavily judged and our family were worried for her, in my head I still feel 18 and think they will react in the same way (although I turn 27 in March) 🙈

I got married at 27 and immediately tried for a baby as we were ready. She was born a year later at 28. Didn't feel too young at all, didn't feel judged by anyone, in fact the thought never crossed my mind. I'd definitely do it if you're ready.

NO!

For some, its 18
For others its 42

Everyone is different. Everyone's circumstances are different.

Married at 19, had my son 5 days before my 22nd bithday, then my daughter a month after my 24th. We'd bought our first home and I went back to work part time when the youngest started school. Either have them while you're young and still have plenty of time for enjoying yourself when they're grown, or have them when you're older. Your choice

I read a meme that said

Biologically 15
Legally 16
Socially 24 - 28
Financially 30+
Logically Never

Whoever wrote that meme has no clue about female biology. 15 is not ideal biologically at all - you want to wait until the hips have finished spreading which is often later than that. Early twenties is a better time biologically.

I was 28 and 31, married 3 years and owned a home with my first, and still had multiple comments about being a "young mum"! Mostly from midwives. I thought it was a great age to have kids personally.

@LittleshopofTriffids
Oh fgs I should have put a laughing smile but but thought noting it was a MEM would suffice

I just had my first, age 35. Not ideal. If I could have met DH earlier, I would have had them earlier. Even 35 is too old. By the time I can have a second, I'll be 37/38, assuming no fertility issues which is a big assumption. I'll be mid to late 50s when my babies leave home for uni. Realistically, I won't be able to be an active helpful grandma and will barely be able to meet my grandchildren, if I'm lucky enough to have them.

I also have my parents to worry about at an age where I'll be in perimonause and my kids are still in school - that should be fun (not!).

The older you are, the harder the recovery. Do not underestimate what pregnancy can do to your body.

All I would say though is that mentally, I was very ready. I don't feel like I'm missing out on travels or nights out. I don't even care about letting go of certain friendships. I'm very secure financially and more mature.

I was 34 when I had my first, and 37 (almost 38) when I had my second..! I think you have to do it when the time is right for you. It’s good you’ve got time on your hands if you choose to wait, or if you want them now then you’re in a good position to do so. Only you can decide when is the right time.

There is no right age to have a baby - full stop. You do what you both want to do and stop worrying about what judgements others might make.

It’s kind of ridiculous to wait until 30 ‘just because’. Most people aren’t ready early, but if you are then that’s great!! Just make sure you’ve done heaps of fun things in case you can’t do them ever again 😂

My first was 29 which was good but 27 was my ideal