DS5 asking me to show him “where girls wee from”… how do I handle this?

[AngeloMysterioso]

My eldest DS has just turned 5, a few times recently when he and I have been in the bathroom/toilets together and I’ve been on the loo he’s asked me to show him where girls wee from… he’s very fascinated by his willy and by the fact that boys have one and girls don’t. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it but I’m equally very uncomfortable at the thought of just showing him my vulva… he’s the eldest of 3 boys so I’m sure this won’t be the last time this crops up and I don’t really know the best way to deal with it! Any advice?

You can just tell him. He doesn't need to see. Or you can get an early age book on our bodies.

Can you show him a diagram from a book ? There must be some age appropriate ones out there. Please explain that there are three holes : wee, poo and babies.
A lot of men grow up not knowing this !

I’ve told him girls don’t have willies like boys do but he wants to know what we have instead… he knows wee comes out of somewhere! Will have a look for an age-appropriate book.

I actually didn’t until I started getting periods… I was very confused the first time I used a tampon and realised they didn’t also soak up wee!

Both come from the bladder. I'm a lot older and my DKs knew these things at 2,we only had one toilet, the door wasn't locked,boys asked and were told,my ds knew about periods when he was 4, because he asked what pads and tampons were for. My work colleagues were absolutely horrified, said they shouldn't know about such things. We were all nursing,so you wouldn't imagine that they would be horrified by normal bodily functions.

Please teach him the word vulva for the whole area. It is time boys stopped thinking of women as having no penis just a hole.

Tell him or use an image from a book. I agree I wouldn’t be showing him on my own body (have no issues with nudity at all but this is a bit too detailed!).

You say " I am not going to show you because what's inside my pants is private but I have a special hole where the wee comes out"

Firstly use the word penis over willy. Secondly, just explain it as it is. Draw a diagram, read a book. Do both. It's going to be an ongoing conversation 🙂

Agree with PP, find some sort of diagram that shows the insides like a cross section. Talk about what bits are the same and what are different, good old fashioned anatomy lesson.

Why on EARTH would you show him yours?? That's disgusting. Just get an encyclopedia.

You just explain in simple, straightforward and correct terms.

And when he asks to see it, you say "No" in a matter-of-fact tone. He will ask "Why?" Don't answer, just help him work it out for himself. He'll probably have a lightbulb moment "Oh, it's private!"

Broad smile, "That's right. Fish fingers or tomato soup for tea?"

Make sure you keep it simple and accurate, because, if he's anything like my ds1 was, you won't be doing it again with the rest of your dc - he'll explain it all to them! Though they might not believe him, and might come to you for confirmation.

Well obviously you don’t show him because I presume you have taught him the pants rule so he knows about privacy. You just tell him that girls and women have a hole that wee comes out of and you can show him a diagram. You can also explain that everyone’s wee comes from the bladder if you think he will understand that.

Don't show him yours FFS!

Point to it on a doll!

I’m not going to FFS… did you not understand my OP?

I think I just said girls have three holes - one for poo (same as you), one for wee and one for babies (at that point didn't explain that that one is a two way hole)

It wouldn’t even cross my mind to show my own —- what on earth that you even thought about it and discounted it

just use real terms and shown a diagram

“A two way hole!” 😂

My son, same age, is/was similarly fascinated though he didn’t ask to see mine. He asked me where my Willy was. We talked about vulvas and penises and explained about the three holes. He’s bright but he still needed me to repeat it a few times until it sunk in!

He literally asks me to show him when I’m on the loo. It isn’t something I dreamt up by myself.

Some dolls do actually wee from a hole. You could get one of these/get a video.

You don’t need to be going into detail about anatomy or having to say the correct terminology.
MN can get a bit weird about it.

I’ve never used the word penis and would likely only say it to a doctor if I was a man/talking about one. I don’t know anyone who says penis.
Young kids tend to say Willy and adults tend to say dick or cock.
Same with the words vulva and vagina. Most adult women will only refer to their vulva as one when talking to a doctor, I’ve never said it to a partner or friend before.

As long as they know the correct terminology, then they don’t need to use it all of the time.

Perfect response.

Aww he's only 5. I'd just say I have a hole for wee, a hole where babies come out and a bottom hole.
I'm sure he'll move onto something else remarkably quickly.