Tell me it gets better!

[Noodleworm]

I’ve got an almost 3 year old and a 6 month old and am really struggling with my 3yo’s behaviour at the moment.. she’s not naughty per se, just incredibly sensitive to every single thing, clingy, whingy, wants to be pushing/touching/sitting/climbing on me constantly and as someone who struggles with sensory issues and chronic pain it is driving me effing mad!! I used to have a sweet little independent girl who was so chilled and ever since number 2 was born she’s just turned into this touchy, screaming horror..

I’d say I really dislike being around her 75% of the time and I feel so guilty because I know I should be loving on both children equally and I had my own issues with my parents growing up so don’t want her to feel in any way unloved but she doesn’t overstimulates me to the point where I want to scream!

I thought the baby would be the tough nut in this situation but we bonded immediately and she is an actual angel (I’m sure I might regret saying that in a few months 😂) does anyone have any experience of this with their littles? Please tell me she’ll hit a certain stage and then go back to being my sweet agreeable girl again!!

This is the absolute hardest age. It definitely gets easier, there may even be a role reversal with the younger sibling one day where you will barely remember it was so hard with the older one! Can you tag out with dad? If I'm getting overstimulated, I've learned to walk away from it and tell DH to take the wheel but I know that's not always possible.

I sought advice at this age as it also coincided with lockdown and I nearly lost my mind. A few things I learned was there is such a lot going on for them at this age developmentally...it is a case of trying to remember they're only 3 and riding it out but a few things that might help:

Try to get on her level when you speak to her, eye contact and speak slowly. If you do lose the plot with her, always apologise, even if it feels hard to do it, even if they've been an absolute turd. This is really important. She will learn to apologise to you pretty quickly, and she won't be confused/understand you over reacted or acted out of line. Try to have a laugh (even if you don't feel like it) simple things like 'high five, down low, too slow' eg between getting clothes on etc. Can help break any tension with sense of connection and refocus their attention.

It gets easier but it takes a lot of time and digging deep...you will get there :)