might be long so sorry in advance-but i have a dss aged 8.5 and a lo 2.6. dss is here every other weekend and half his holidays and when we can some odd nights he is a lovely well mannered little man and generally good company and lo adores him but i think [and this is where i need your help] he gets a little too much and is never pulled up on things that are very wrong ifyswim a couple of examples -he wanted to go to football classes and so his mom and da instantly said yes without thinking of implications to both families ,went and bought all new kit etc and now after 2 classes doesn't want to go , last week he came and told us 2 stories of what could have been really bad things and when we raised it with his mom none of it had been the way it had been told to us[ sorry i know i am not explaining very well] now my husband thinks that i am very severe because in my mind whilst i can understand that it might seem cruel to make him go he does also need to learn the value of money [his mom feels the same]and to have some kind of repercussions for telling stories that potentially could have caused problems his dad is of the ilk that i am just doing it cos of 'his'son [which i am not] and meanwhile this little monkey is happily twirling his little fingers and every one is running am i wrong here?