DD high anxiety re swimming

[Whattodo202023]

Looking for advice for Dd7. She recently moved up in her swimming lessons. Shes now in a group where they are expected to be in a slightly deeper bit to do widths of the pool then towards the end they take them down to the deep end a d get them to jump in and swim back down. Dd is a good swimmer and has always loved swimming.

However this change has completely thrown her. Shes had 3 lessons, cried for most of the first 2. The third one was better but the bit about going in the deep end is the hardest. She is convinced she will drown (i think its where she knows she cant touch the ground).

Ive taken her to the pool myself a couple of times and gotten her used to being in the slightly deeper end. They would not let me take her into the deep end though. We have spoken to the swimming teachers each time and explained the situation. This has been ok but they rotate teachers (its a big leisure centre chain). The last teacher got her into the deep end by holding onto the sides the way down and back which was fine. But then at the end told her next time she would jump in. Not hugely helpful.

Ive tried logic with her (she wont drowm, theres a lifeguard who follows them down), breathing exercises, mantras. But it is taking over her life- she cries most evenings about it and is clearly fretting a lot. I suspect she has ASD. Once the lesson happens she goes into an internal countdown to the next one.

what would you do? She then says she does want to swim and get past it and she used to love swimming. I am worried if we stop now ill never get her back in the pool. I also think the longer this goes on the more it builds up in her mind.

I will speak to the teacher again next time and reemphasise how anxious she is, am planning on taking her again and Ive contacted the leisure centre to see if they offer private lessons...

What would you do? Anything i haven't thought of...?

Honestly, I’d switch to private lessons until she’s built up her confidence, switch to a different school or pull her out altogether. It sounds like she can swim safely. That’s great, that’s the goal. It shouldn’t be causing her to feel like this. It’s meant to be fun. I hated swimming lessons as a child. I did them religiously and the instructors were shouty and they were constantly throwing us in the deep end and making us tread water for 15 minutes and it wasn’t nice. Ironically, I am now an adult who returned to (open water) swimming in my 40s. I love it now, but I can’t even take my kids to a swimming pool because it’s associated with so many negative childhood memories for me.

1 to 1 lessons. More expensive but you need far fewer so probably end up about the same cost wise. Especially as she can always move back into group when she has regained her confidence.

Agree with pp, not the right swimming lesson provider for her. Our youngest can be anxious and her first nursery didn’t work for her. We thought the right approach was to keep working with them to help her but in hindsight it just wasn’t the right place. Changed to a different nursery and she was happy from day 1.

Our swimming provider has toddlers all walk up to the deep end and jump off a giant float into their parents arms at the end of each lesson, as they focus on water confidence along with swimming. I don’t know what approach they would suggest for your daughter but I’m sure they would have some great ideas on what to do. I’m sure there will be similar providers in your area. In my experience leisure centre type lessons work best for kids who’d be able to swim under any circumstances. Ours definitely had to learn!

I'd chat to the centre and see if she can move back down a lesson. That level of worry is not worth it. Then either work on building up to it outside lessons or switch to somewhere else. I ended up stopping DS who was upset about putting his face in, and we'll have another go somewhere else.

I don’t know about 1:1 lessons. DD had the same problem and it was precisely because of the 1:1 lessons which round here all take place in people’s houses so are smaller shallower pools, so she’d got used to always being able to touch the bottom. In the end school lessons sorted her out as it was either jump in the deep end or move down a group and then you won’t be with your friends- not in a harsh way, that was just the reality of the situation because she couldn’t disrupt the lesson by refusing to participate and it just so happened her friends were in the higher group. In your case OP I’d talk to DD and ask if she wants to go down a level to her old group or stay where she is but she has to participate in the lesson properly to do that. If she moves down that isn’t the end of the world, she’ll still be swimming weekly and in a few months her confidence should hopefully have improved.

Ah no I mean 1 to 1 in a proper pool. My DS would hyperventilate at the thought of letting go of the side he had 1 term of 1 to 1 lessons then back to group and within months had been scouted for a competitive swim team.