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Parenting

10 replies

girled · 29/10/2024 11:22

I want to spot my child's interests/ what he really loves so I can support him with that.
However, as bad as it sounds, he doesn't seem to be into anything.

He started reading fairly quickly but even though I have a house full of lovely books, ebooks, audiobooks and always offer to read with him, it seems to have become a chore.
He used to try writing little stories when he first started writing. I bought lovely notebooks, fun pens, and books about writing your first story. He seems to have lost interest. He writes a sentence and not more.
Maths, he hates.

Not sporty, not interested in being on his bike, asked for roller skates, not good on them or interested in practicing, too cautious to give skateboarding a proper go. Tried karate for a month doesn't want to go back. Not interested in swimming lessons. Tried football - hates it. Slow (inefficient?) at running.

Doesn't know a single song, not interested in learning. Never gave dancing a go - not even bothering with gestures during Christmas show etc. He has had a keyboard and a recorder for a long time and he doesn't play either.

We have science kits, magazine subscription etc. He is only interested if someone else does the experiments/ reading with him. Only pays attention to the 'fun' part, not to the actual science behind things.

Doesn't seem overly interested in animals or nature. We grow some veg in the garden and he isn't even up for picking up tomatoes anymore.

He likes to doodle/ draw a bit (not particularly good or interested in art videos/ lessons) and he plays lego a lot...
Which I am ok with but it does seem like neither of these things challenges him and he's not really developing any new skills.

Am I overthinking this? Would you expect a 7/8 year old to have some clear interests/ passions, to be a bit more self motivated with regards to certain things?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Prisonpillow · 29/10/2024 11:25

It sounds like you are overthinking it a bit. Some free time to just ‘be’ without structured activities or stimulation is good for them in my opinion.

My seven year old often finds ways to play with the simplest of bits and bobs rather than the ‘fun’ versions and it strikes me as being healthy.

Octavia64 · 29/10/2024 11:25

Mine didn't.

They had stuff they really didn't like - swimming in one child's case - but I made him do that.

Other than that they enjoyed doing stuff pretty much only if I did it with them.

They both learned instruments and I did practice with them until they were about 14. We grew veg in the garden but that was joint. We read books together at bedtime.

The stuff they wanted to do off their own bat was watching tv and playing computer games and I didn't want them just doing that so I invested a lot of time in doing other things with them,

Kaleidoscopic101 · 29/10/2024 11:30

I wouldn't worry too much...mine needs a lot of coaxing with all these ideas. Its hard because you want to bond with them and share in their enthusiasm. Does he play Minecraft? Mine love playing creative mode. But I know it's screen time.

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girled · 29/10/2024 11:49

Thank you for the responses.

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girled · 29/10/2024 11:54

Kaleidoscopic101 · 29/10/2024 11:30

I wouldn't worry too much...mine needs a lot of coaxing with all these ideas. Its hard because you want to bond with them and share in their enthusiasm. Does he play Minecraft? Mine love playing creative mode. But I know it's screen time.

Edited

He wanted Minecraft as it's popular with his friends. Gave it a go and decided he doesn't like it - there were monsters/ creepers hissing apparently even though he was on creative mode and he didn't enjoy it.
He does some Scratch Jr and Sketches on his tablet - both good for creativity.

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Kaleidoscopic101 · 29/10/2024 12:17

You can set Minecraft to Creative Mode and set it to 'Peaceful' ...not 'Easy', there are no monsters...it's basically then like a sandpit pr bunch of Lego with all the stuff he can build whatever he wants. My 7yo plays offline/locally/not connected to a server too, that way he's safe etc.

Seeline · 29/10/2024 12:28

Just give him some space!

He's probably completely spooked by you providing the full kit for anything he tries. Just because he picks up a pencil doesn't mean he needs the full artist's kit. Few kids of 7 are going to want to know the science behind bicarb volcanos - it's just fun. Writing stories might have been fun until you gave him books to fill.

Give him time and space to explore things. Give him opportunities to experience new things, but gently and one at a time.

They flit from one thing to another.

girled · 29/10/2024 13:19

@Seeline your post made me laugh at myself.

I promise I just watch and gently prompt, I'm not as intense and involved as my post may suggest.

He's nearly eight and I think having something he feels good at will help his confidence and will make him happier (give him sense of achievement, etc).

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girled · 29/10/2024 13:19

Good advice though- thank you

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johnd2 · 29/10/2024 13:25

Totally with seeline here, you seem to have huge ambition for him but how about letting him be himself. You seem to be desperate for some interest or skill to pop out, he will be picking up on the pressure.
It's possible there's some underlying thing such as PDA or something, but I haven't picked up any clues from your post.
You mention he wants to do things only together - that's great, carve out some time to do things together then.
I think just giving time and space to be himself, some options, and try to follow rather than coax, and just be comfortable with the kind of child you have rather than too many of your own expectations if you can. And enjoy your time together!!
Good luck.

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